BAD FELLAS
The new cinema year kicks off with a wannabe gangster-thriller whose ineptness has to be seen to be believed.
JAN 7, 2007 – THE ONLY WAY SOMETHING LIKE GAME CAN BE ENJOYED is if the whole thing were dubbed in Mandarin and shown upside down, and you’re watching it five drinks in, sixth in hand. Seeing this disaster cold-sober, and in Hindi, is a bit of business best left to diehard fans of Mona, a.k.a. Sherlyn, Chopra. (Or is that Sherlyn, a.k.a. Mona, Chopra?) She plays Tina, the heroine, and she’s been chosen for two outstanding reasons – both of which are on ample display throughout Game. We’ve heard of actresses insisting on contracts that say things like they won’t be required to do kissing scenes, or they won’t wear swimsuits. With Mona, I’d bet it’s the opposite. I’d bet her lawyer would slap a lawsuit on the producer if he so much as brought a salwar kameez into the vicinity. Even while visiting a place of worship, Tina opts for a denim mini – and I use the term “mini” rather generously; it’s more like a largish denim belt. A few minutes later, there’s a song sequence that has her in a bikini, moving up to her boyfriend Rahul (Sameer Dharmadhikari) in that panther-crawl our choreographers are so fond of – you know, the one where the girl is on all fours and… So you begin to think this is a routine skin flick, and that the title refers to a naughty romp between the lovers, possibly involving a pair of handcuffs and strawberry ice cream.
But no! That would have merely made Game a cheesy movie, instead of what it actually is – fourteen reels of such jaw-dropping badness, you feel a roomful of blind monkeys tapping on keyless typewriters could have come up with a better script. Out of nowhere, Game morphs into gangster-vendetta mode, as we learn that Ronnie (Dharmadhikari again; yes, there’s two of him) is being hunted by a don-type played by Govind Namdeo, and that’s when the film begins to take itself very, very seriously – so seriously that it’s not just about the underworld anymore, but a “gunaahon ki duniya.” Soon, there are some two dozen men stomping around in trench coats and fedoras, trying their best to glare you down with menace. There are flashbacks and more flashbacks – because that’s why people come to a Mona Chopra starrer, see, to immerse themselves in a fractured-timeline narrative – and somewhere in between, Namdeo begins to pound out dissonant chords on a grand piano, a grand directorial touch possibly meant to alert us to his increasingly unhinged mind. By the time a bad guy falls to his death in sync with a soundtrack that approximates the noise of a jet taking off, you’ve been primed for pretty much anything, even the sight of a hit man who skulks around with a camera-tripod, shooting pictures of his victims – shades of Jude Law in Road to Perdition – but only after he’s meticulously done a comb-over of their moustaches. And did I mention the dialogue? There are at least three repetitions of a line that didn’t deserve a single outing: “Thanda insaan hoon main… I’m a cool man.”
If you still want to know what Game is about, Ronnie meets Rahul while on the run and thinks he can get Namdeo to bump this lookalike off – but, naturally, nothing goes per plan. And then we see what the title actually alludes to, when Ronnie points to the sky and proclaims with a dry laugh, “Uske game ke aage kisi ki nahin chali.” Ah, so that’s what it’s all been leading to: existential theism. I would have laughed loudest for this one instantly-immortal line of dialogue, but then I’d already expended my energy cracking up at the moment where Tina – after a dance number with moves that would make Rakhi Sawant blush – resists her man’s advances and coos, “Shaadi se pehle yeh sab nahin.” And after so blatantly positioning her as a sex object, where does the film get off with the bit on a bike where Rahul asks her to lower her skirt because passers by on the road will ogle at her legs? First of all, what skirt? And second of all, why spoil that movie memory from Albert Pinto Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai, where hothead Naseeruddin Shah on a bike yells out to passers by on the road to look at his girlfriend’s legs, because she’s wearing something he doesn’t approve of and there’s a strong wind blowing her dress up? I mean, for something called Game, do you really have to crib from Saeed Mirza? Can’t you just do your own thing and still achieve the same level of awfulness?
Copyright ©2007 The New Sunday Express
brangan
January 1, 2008
Continuing the transfers… this is the first film review of last year. Hopefully 2008 will prove better 🙂
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Priti
January 1, 2008
lol! this review really cracked me up! n for the pleasure of us readers, i pray fervently for one more such movie, that would get u to write another hilarious riot such as this! 😀 wat a way to kickstart the year!
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Bala
January 1, 2008
oh man…thank god…i was having a serious sense of deja vu reading this 😉 Until i scrolled down 🙂
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hrishi
January 1, 2008
baradwaj – you need a reviewer who decides whether or not you even need to spend the time to review such films. maybe it would spare you some time for tamil films! but seriously, i wonder if the snobbish film critics have such a policy! like a second in chess!
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s
January 1, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
How about a label on your sidebar for these unintentionally funny ones(Go, Shaklaka boom boom)? These crack me up so much more than your economic times pieces.
There was another movie called Game in 80’s or 90’s with Nasseer which had a dialogue, “Mere khuthe kabhi khuthe ki laash nahin kathe”.
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Supremus
January 2, 2008
LOL – ROFL!! What a way to end the year – couldnt stop laughing all along! I so want to see this movie immediately!
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brangan
January 2, 2008
hrishi: A trainee reviewer who gets to see the dregs while I skim the creamy layer… What a happy thought! 🙂
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brangan
January 2, 2008
Priti/Supremus: You do know this is from last year, right?
Bala: See, that’s why you should always read comments first 🙂
s: Those ET days are so long back, I can’t even remember what I was writing then…
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s
January 2, 2008
Arre, would the trainee come up with “a roomful of blind monkeys tapping on keyless typewriters “.
You are an indian reviewer, you ought to provide us with action, comedy and all that masala, no?
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Aditya Pant
January 2, 2008
How did I miss this gem 😉 Must grab a DVD soon 🙂
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Bala
January 2, 2008
Ahem 🙂 Did you ever get to see Manorama btw ? Any opinions ? I caught Charlie Wilson’s war and Linklater’s old “Dazed and Confused ” recently…seen them ?
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Priti
January 2, 2008
yeah yeah.. i do realise.. i said am praying for THIS year also to get started with a gem like this 😀
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brangan
January 2, 2008
Aditya: Make sure you have lots of liquor first 🙂
Bala: Dazed is an AMAZING film. Thanks for reminding me that I haven’t watched it in a while. Linklater, to my mind, is an edgier Cameron Crowe when it comes to dialogue and relationships. And what a soundtrack! Charlie isn’t out in these parts, but saw Manorama finally. Liked it a lot, though after a point, I could see what was coming. But the perfs and the atmosphere and the dialogues were beautiful.
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Shantesh Row
January 3, 2008
Well, at least there are ‘two good reasons’ to watch this film. And I meant ‘Sherlyn’ & ‘Chopra’! (get your dirty minds cleaned!!!)
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brangan
January 3, 2008
Shantesh: So they’re naming them these days? I know Raymond (of the TV show) named Debra’s, uh, pair as ‘Barnes’ and ‘Noble’ 🙂
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Bala
January 3, 2008
Wow..unconditional love for a movie ? That’s a first :)But don’t you think he overdoes the no story ..stream of consciousness kinda film-making a little bit ? Though before sunrise ,before sunset and dazed are among my fav movies 🙂 It does sometime feel as if he sacrifices story telling for technique…say like in waking life and a scanner daarkly ? And well…yeah school of rock and some other films were more main-stream …looks like I have ended up contradicting myself 🙂 …and why wasn’t Manorama on your top ten list then btw ?:) I thought the dialogues and the casting were almost perfect…Kulbushan ,Abhay and Gul esp
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brangan
January 3, 2008
Bala: That’s the whole point — no “story”, but lots of vignettes. But Schhol of Rock didn’t work that much for me. Okay in parts was about all I felt, mainly because I can take Jack Black in small doses only. Though I must say his moves to I’m Walkin’ on Sunshine in High Fildelity is an all-time classic moment 🙂 I caught Manorama just now, hence the omission. But something touching on it this weekend. Stay tuned…
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Bala
January 4, 2008
aah ok 🙂 waiting with bated breath :)..what did u feel about The blue umbrella ?I was rather underwhelmed after all that I had heard about it. Btw, heard some scary rumors about Aamir and Shankar’s “Robot” on t.v :).Also ever seen an ol Shashi Kapoor movie called New Delhi times ?Interesting I thought though it did have a lot of huge flaws…
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brangan
January 5, 2008
Bala: Yes I ahve. IIRC, he won a National Award for that. These are the the times I have to be grateful for being born in the DD era. Looking at the filsm that play on TV now, can you imagien that at one time, we were seeing Benegal and Adoor for free?
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Bala
January 5, 2008
hehe 🙂 yup…I still remember my grandpa getting all excited about Shatranj ke Khiladi
and Pather Panchali when it was being shown on d.d . And I was like why are we watching these boring old black and white non-Rajini starring movies (in weird languages ) all the time ? …And now I keep trawling the net to get decent prints of any of those movies 🙂
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