FACT OF THE META
A masala movie that winks at masala movies. Sounds like fun, no? It’s actually anything but. Plus, what could have been this year’s Life in a Metro.
APR 27, 2008 – I’M WILLING TO BET A FAIR-SIZED SUM THAT this is how director Vijay Krishna Acharya’s pitch to producer Aditya Chopra went: “See, we’re used to films where a crucial plot enabler is the MacGuffin, the red herring – a bag of crisp notes, say, or wine bottles filled with Uranium – but what if the plot itself were the MacGuffin? People walk in expecting a story to unfold, but what if we take the very elements that make this story interesting and hurl them out of the window, or else chop them up into little hyper-stylised pieces so that they don’t seem to be a part of any single story so much as our cinema’s great kitsch continuum? What a terrific masala movie that would make.”
“After all, a masala movie is, by definition, pitched over the top, so let’s pitch this way over over-the-top, and instead of shaping our ‘story’ through a masala narrative, let the masala – the songs, the fights, the dialogue, the humour, the style – be the narrative. You don’t follow? Well, for instance, there’s the potential for a thrilling heist sequence when Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan) sets out to steal a heavy suitcase full of cash – one that belongs to a gangster (named Bhaiyaji, played by Anil Kapoor) – but let’s just dump all the suspense and simply show Jimmy walking out with the suitcase, to the accompaniment of wacky seventies’ music. What’s the point of this sequence, then, you ask? There’s no point. That’s the point.”
That’s an awesome conceit in theory – to do for the masala movie what Tarantino has done for the martial arts movie, which is to fall on all fours before its trashy magnificence – and so we have Tashan, a very brainy meta movie pretending to be a no-brainer masala movie, slapped together with shades of noir cinema (femme fatale, check; clueless, love-struck patsy, check) and the road movie (Kerala, check; Rajasthan, check) and the hoary revenge saga (child out to avenge parent’s gory death, check). The coming together of these elements should have been the most fun, most irreverent, most retro evening out at the movies since Main Hoon Na, but something gets lost between intent and execution – though I’m sure a lot of merriment was had during the script discussions.
“Let’s introduce Akshay Kumar (who plays a character named, hyuk hyuk, Bachchan Pandey) dressed as Ravana with sunglasses,” someone must have said, and the mental image must have cracked up everyone in the room. And as the other gags were tossed around – let’s have Bhaiyaji deliver a Deewar monologue in Hinglish; let’s spoof Don, by having the only cop who knows about the mole on the other side drop dead unceremoniously; let’s have a couple of sidekicks play hopscotch with a revolver instead of a stone; let’s have, in the Falak tak song sequence, a movie hall advertising a film named Falak Tak; let’s have an L.A.-based firang filmmaker (who’s shooting in India) get a call from Harvey (Weinstein); heck, let’s add “the” before the names of the stars during the opening credits (The Kareena Kapoor, by the way, is so totally hot, man, especially in that bikini) – the conference table must have caved in from all the slapping.
What we’re left with, though, is a cautionary tale about what’s likely to result when someone tries to think their way through an unabashed masala movie. It’s not the easiest of things to put together a masala entertainment in these (supposedly) enlightened multiplex climes, but the single-screen-era practitioners of this unholy genre-mishmash surely operated with their gut, not their grey cells. That’s perhaps why Tashan is so tedious – all the energy appears to have been expended on planning the movie, with very little left for the actual execution. The entertainment elements are all in place, but they just don’t come together in an entertaining way. Tashan is a like a gleaming sports car with no driver, and hence, no discernible direction. One moment it’s a crazy cartoon movie, where Bhaiyaji gets dressed in a room with a wall-sized Mona Lisa, flanked by a couple of suits of armour, and the next, Bhaiyaji clobbers someone to death with a cricket bat. (This unlikely instrument of death, still smeared with a dark crimson pulp of blood and flesh, is subsequently presented for our inspection.)
It’s one thing to see Jerry swing a sledgehammer on hapless Tom’s head – giving rise to a familiar boink sound effect and the inevitable hillock of red that rises instantly – but if the same levels of violence were shown in live action, is it still supposed to be fun? Or have we entered a different kind of movie now – a real, honest-to-goodness masala movie, instead of one that’s merely winking at those conventions? (This is the same problem I had with Om Shanti Om, which never really decided whether it wanted to have fun with a certain kind of cinema or follow in its footsteps.) By the time a young-love flashback – rather nicely spun, with sweet, homespun flourishes like electricity theft and an all-girls school and a mouthful of red chillies – comes to an end, and we discover who the boy and the girl in that story have grown up to be, we’re not sure whether to giggle or take the whole thing seriously.
There are distractions aplenty – in the form of hilariously nutty (though overlong) stunt sequences best described as Rajinikanth-meets-Parkour. The songs, too, are eye-poppingly staged, but they seem to exist simply because you can’t have a Hindi movie without songs. For all the brainstorming that’s gone into the characters, their entries and exits and their detailing, no one seems to have thought about how to bring about a song sequence – or, at least, create the kind of surreal atmosphere (like we saw in those other meta movies, Jaan-e-Mann and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom) that makes these considerations redundant. Only Dil dance maare lives up to the outrageousness of Vishal-Shekhar’s conception, and if you’ve seen the promos with the leads in blonde wigs, it’s a hoot to see how this situation comes to be.
Otherwise, the only thing you take away from Tashan is how Akshay Kumar totally deserves the first part of his screen name. It’s not just that he’s referred to, at one point, as Mr. Ganga Kinarewala, or that he’s mistaken for the Big B by that firang filmmaker. He plays so instinctively, so effortlessly to the gallery – part action stud, part bumpkin buffoon – that he gets away with things he shouldn’t be getting away with, the way his namesake did in so many masala films of the seventies and the eighties. And if Tashan becomes a hit – like Welcome or Bhool Bhulaiya or, oh, pretty much everything Akshay’s been in recently – you can add another reason for the comparison. The ability to transform dreck into box-office dynamite was yet another Bachchan specialty.
AFTER SURVIVING TASHAN, THE PROSPECT OF a second film by a first-time director was utterly enervating – but if Rajaatesh Nayar’s Sirf isn’t all that it could have been, it’s at least got interesting characters who find themselves in interesting situations. This one had the potential to be this year’s Life in a Metro – an unflinchingly urban take on a series of interlocked relationships, peopled by a talented cast (Sonali Kulkarni, Kay Kay, Ranvir Shorey and Ankur Khanna, among them) – but everything’s brought down a couple of notches thanks to Nayar’s general tendency for overemphasis. (This is, after all, a film whose tagline goes, “Life Looks Greener on the Other Side,” with the third word shaded in green.)
You could go on cataloguing the film’s faults: the songs don’t linger; the scenes don’t know when to stop; the dialogues keep looping back to explain what’s already been explained; the staging is elementary; the actors are left pretty much to their own devices (and their performances, therefore, range from the wildly hammy to the barely adequate); terrible clichés coexist uncomfortably with moments of surprising insight (the conversation Kay Kay has with his driver, for instance). And yet, the universality of the bittersweet predicaments – of having love but no money, of having money but no love, of having money and love but no time – resonates just enough to make you wonder what Nayar is capable of with more money and better collaborators.
Copyright ©2008 The New Sunday Express. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
Karan
April 26, 2008
Tashan-Bakwaas movie, i was sleeping throughtout the movie. Even akhsay kumar couldnt awake me, one moment when i recharged was to see when kareena appears in bikini…DABBA…who likes size 0? NOT ATLEAST ME…she looked like pumpkin placed over an drumstick.
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chhote saab
April 26, 2008
Badesaab,
Haven’t seen ‘Tashan’ and probably won’t till it is on DVD but that’s really high praise for Akshay Kumar. He did have a phenomenal 2007 – do we have a new numero uno here?
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Satyam
April 26, 2008
Outstanding review as is par for the course for Rangan. Good reviews are ultimately not about calling films ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but about really getting to heart of what the film is about. Criticism must enlighten. And no one does this better in India (in terms of film criticism) than Baradwaj Rangan. I honestly hope he will some day put a book together.
A great point is also made with that closing line. Bachchan in the 80s was often doing films that were B grade or sometimes even bordering on C (Yaarana!) without him and he managed to get succeses even in these. A similar point could be made about Rajni of course.
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brangan
April 26, 2008
Karan: “pumpkin placed over an drumstick?” Wow! That’s some description.
chhote: aap to jaante hain hum in numero uno-waali baaton ko nahin maante. but yeah, the man’s got a solid winning streak, the likes of which we havven’t seen in a while.
satyam: thank you.
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Sid
April 26, 2008
Awww… I was hoping you’d enjoy it. I thought it was a lot of fun — if not as great as it thinks it is. But I definitely think it was better than other similar masala type ventures — Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, The Farah Khan movies, etc. And for the first time I think Akki was BRILLIANT! Definitely my favorite perf of the year so far (after Ranbir Shourie)
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Altamash
April 27, 2008
Nice review as always, Wont watch Tashan as it luks just like dhoom 2 ,all style no substance.. btw i ws expectng shaurya’s review.. Its a nice take on Few Gud Men..
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Prajit
April 27, 2008
Its unfair to compare Akshay with Mr Bachchan based on just one great year the former had in 2007.Hrithik and Aamir too have now 3 back to back superhits and SRK of course has been consistent in delivering hits over the years.
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Prajit
April 27, 2008
taking about making duds/critically thrashed movies into hits is not a big deal as long as the paying public are happy with the movie.we have seen many instances when critically ripped apart movies have become hits or more.remember Vivah,No Entry,Welcome and so on.the fact is nommater what critics think about a certain movie, it is the people,the paying public who decide the fate of the movie at the BO.
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Prajit
April 27, 2008
taking about making duds into hits is not a big deal as long as the paying public is happy with the movie.we have seen many instances when critically ripped apart movies have done well commercially and many critically accliamed ones have bombed badly.nomatter what critics think, it is the paying public who decide the fate of the movie.
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Sudhir Nair
April 27, 2008
Tashan’s a strictly ok movie until the climax. The looooong drawn climax makes it a really bad movie.
It’s amazing how Akshay Kumar always ends up with the best lines in average flicks. His entry in Tashan was the highlight of the movie and the movie seemed to be bearable after that till the climax blew it all away.
And it’s amazing how Saif regularly signs up movies where his role is best described as a good looking extra. Maybe he’s stashing all the money for his production house where maybe he’ll make some quality flicks.
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Padawan
April 27, 2008
Will you be doing a review of Dasavatharam music? I have a lot to catch up and am hoping that at least in Between Reviews you have spoken about Tamizh movies as such!!!
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Nirmal
April 28, 2008
How many times in movies should we have to see the hero narrating a story from the past involvin someone he lost and the listener turning out to b the very same person he ws searching all his life.? This sequence shud b banned from movies frm nw on..
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brangan
April 28, 2008
Sid: I didn’t mind parts of it, but as a whole, it was a mess. I preferred JBJ and “The Farah Khan movies” to this 🙂 But yes, I’ve not beena big fan of Akki in his recent films, but here he’s quite awesome.
Altamash: Shaurya didn’t make it to these parts, so…
Prajit: “we have seen many instances when critically ripped apart movies have become hits or more.” of course. where’s the argument? criticism anf box-office business have very little to do with one another. I always find it amusing when someone says, “despite the bad reviews, such and such film went on to become a hit.”
Sudhir Nair: “And it’s amazing how Saif regularly signs up movies where his role is best described as a good looking extra.” Yeahm, even I was surprised (in a good way) that he appeared to be the lead at first and gradually got relegated to the sidelines.
Padawan: Nope. And this week’s BR is about Tamil films, BTW.
Nirmal: Yeah, I don’t think there was anyone in the theatre who wouldn’t see who Gudiya would turn out to be 🙂
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Shiv
April 28, 2008
Agree with most of what you said about Tashan. I personally thought it’s Aditya Chopre’s idea of a sequel of sorts to Bunty aur Babli. The whole two Indias thing, with English being the currency of success this time around (heck, even that first shot of the car wildly lurching between English rock and desi Kishore!) Considering how much research Aditya Chopre apparently does about box-office success, this is probably a sign of where he thinks small-town India is heading, no?
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brangan
April 28, 2008
Shiv: Yeah it is, what with Saif’s cool-due character being an “English” coach at a call centre and Akshay’s crotch-cupping character hailing from the Hindi heartland. That’s why I though t the film wasn’t as brainless as it wants us to think it is. Problem is, once these discrepancies are established, nothing much is done with it. BTW, that early scene was desi “Mukesh”, no?
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iSphere
April 28, 2008
Total bakwaa, no need to waste time on this on.
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anon
April 29, 2008
Rangan Saab, sorry to digress from the discussion happening, I am very eager to see your take on the IPL tournament happening with razzmatazz all over India. Waiting to read ur take on it..
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brangan
April 30, 2008
iSphere: Do you know the director is saying that it’s all *meant* to be total bakwaas?
anon: digression from the discussion happening? What discussion? No one seems to have seen this film, and even those that have don’t seem to have much to say. Heck, U Me Aur Hum had more “discussion” 🙂 About the IPL, it’s great fun, right? Of course, I’m thrilled that Chennai Super Kings are rocking. But no, I’m not planning to write about that.
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filter kaapi
April 30, 2008
Tashan makes jhoom barabar look lyk a classic.
Tashan to be recommended to Bhajji instead of his 11 match ban.
Tashan raises hopes for other bikinis to win Filmfare best supporting actress
Saif & Kareena spend some time alone, they head 2 theater screening Tashan!
Really seems like Tashan is tailor-made for such jokes! 😉
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Neelu
April 30, 2008
Mr. Rangan – I am a huge fan of your reviews. I may not always agree with your opinions but I still love reading them. In the case of Tashan I disagree somewhat – this film missed out in so many places. Every song except the magical Dil Dance Maare was misplaced or popped out of nowhere. After about 15 minutes Akshay’s magic began to fade and Anil never had any. Kareena was a very androgynous size zero. The much touted ishtyle (that was very evident in Dhoom 2) was completely lacking in Tashan.
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Neelu
April 30, 2008
Just read that Acharya says his Tashsn is NOT FOR THE LILY LIVERED!
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Tambi Dude
April 30, 2008
Rangan,
If not about IPL, write something about the cheerleaders 🙂
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brangan
May 1, 2008
filter kaapi: Okay, that last one wasn’t bad 🙂
Neelu: Thank you. Almost everyone who writes in the first time says something like “I may not always agree with your opinions but…” and I always feel the need to ask but how could it be otherwise. How could you agree with someone every single time? 🙂 About “Every song except the magical Dil Dance Maare was misplaced,” I actually have written about this for my column this weekend (though it’s merely an extension of earlier thoughts about musical numbers in filsm today). But I thought the film was quite stylish, and it had a lot of Tashan/Attitude. You didn’t think so?
Tambi Dude: What’s there to write? That they’re all wearing jumpers now? 🙂
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Neelu
May 3, 2008
I thought that unless the style was a deliberate off key one there was something strange. Pooja had style perhaps, but Jimmy mustache and clothes belonged on Bachchan Pandey and Bhaiyaji was not stylish at all. Perhaps Akshay had a style, but was it that different from his usual? Your praise of Akshay reminded me of the success of those other two “jubilee” Kumars. While Manoj left Shaheed as a legacy, Rajendra Kumar left nothing of value. Is Akshay going that same route?
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bollywoodqueen
May 27, 2008
Kareena Kapoor Video Bikini Scene In Tashan
This is the bikini scene video in Tashan that all are raving about !!
http://www.dubbagol.com/Entertainment/Kareena_Kapoors_Bikini_Scene_In_Tashan-1/
…a must see!
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