Spoilers ahead…
If the movies have taught us anything, it’s this: When you want the heroine to be seen as serious, she will be seen wearing glasses. (Refer also Padukone, Deepika in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani; Zinta, Preity in Kal Ho Naa Ho.) So it’s enough, really, that Sajid Nadiadwala’s Kick, a remake of the similarly named Telugu hit, opens with a shot of the bespectacled Shaina (Jaqueline Fernandez) stepping into a wintry Warsaw street – we don’t need the additional shot where she plays Scrabble with her family and, seizing an opportunity for a word beginning with “S,” spells out S-O-R-R-O-W. (The feisty grandmother, on the other hand, spells out S-E-X. I’m just saying.) But what an idea, sirji: character delineation through board games. Imagine the narrative possibilities. When it’s the hero’s turn to be introduced, resplendent in shining armour, we get a scene where he’s playing chess and makes a knight move. No, wait. That would mean a scene where Salman Khan plays chess. Even Salman Khan can’t pull that off.
Anyway, back to Shaina, whose despondency the film clearly cannot get enough of. Her wardrobe, in the early scenes is filled with greys and blues and blacks. That’s some S-O-R-R-O-W, clearly. For J-O-Y, she’ll have to wait until the second half, when the hero (Devi Lal, played by… you know) invites her to a nightclub and persuades her to dance, at which point she shucks off her drab overcoat to reveal a slinky red dress – according to Statute 56 of the Costume Designer’s Handbook, she’s finally discovered passion. She also shucks off her glasses. What do you think this character does for a living? Being a dancer makes sense. She executes a jaw-dropping split. Or a singer? These professions go with the generic nature of these characterisations. When you have a heroine as a singer or dancer, you don’t have to write too many scenes to establish her as a presence. You can cover this even within the space of the song-and-dance routines. But no. Shaina is a psychiatrist. Why? So that she can take Devi Lal home when he’s afflicted by retrograde amnesia. So this is how the Polish health-care system apparently works. You walk up to the doctor who’s treating the patient and announce that you’re a psychiatrist, and he’ll let you take the patient home in order to implement the highly regimented treatment procedure called… TLC. Maybe those glasses helped. Maybe looking at them, the doctor knew that Shaina was capable of pulling off a triple word score with Devi Lal.
Movies like Kick depress me – and not because of the ineptness on display, the sheer waste of resources, the utter contempt for the audience. What depresses me is that they become hits, and further the conventional wisdom that this is what masala cinema is all about. Have the hero make his entry in a scene that literally showers him with confetti. Have him break some bones, and depict this bone-breaking through X-rays. Have him wrap things up with this admonitory punch line: “Dil mein aata hoon – samajh mein nahin,” that we should embrace him with our hearts and not our brains. And we’re supposed to go home happy. It’s depressing because it makes a mockery of the masala movies that take the trouble to write out convincing quasi-mythical narratives, with characters that are at once rooted and larger than life. Heck, you don’t have to look further than Salman Khan’s Dabangg, whose moves are still popular enough to be referenced here.
The difference between Dabangg and Kick is also the difference between India and Poland. Masala movies are essentially warm movies. They need the spice of colours like red and yellow. They need the heat from numbers like Munni badnaam hui and Aare pritam pyaare. They need to be peppered with moving parent-child scenes, piquant romantic stretches, epic hero-villain showdowns. Late into Kick, we get a sequence that unfolds during a charity ball. What self-respecting masala movie goes to a charity ball? Why not situate the same scene in a mela? A lot is lost when you take a quintessentially Indian genre and set it in a foreign country that doesn’t get much sun. It turns cold. And it looks ridiculous because the filmmakers don’t want to make a cool, Hollywood-style movie – they want all the elements of the great Indian tamasha, but they want it in Warsaw. It’s like making kebabs from a kielbasa recipe.
Another way to make these movies work – that is, if you don’t want to spend the time and effort on actually writing a script – is to fill the running time with moments that make use of the things that make your star a star, so that we don’t notice how underwritten the other characters are (the little girl Jhumki; Devi Lal’s father, played by Mithun Chakraborty). Just make the movie a start-to-finish show-reel of bits – like the animated flashback that showcases the hero’s herogiri, or the stretch where Devi Lal breaks into a dance as the song Saat samundar paar (from Vishwatma) booms on the soundtrack. Salman Khan, in bright red pants, is in his element here – he even copies Divya Bharti’s bunny-rabbit-wagging-its-tail dance moves from that song. But that’s it. The story has to do with Devi Lal also playing a robber named Devil – and not a single heist is staged well. All we get are tired action scenes – cars chasing a bus as a mother walks into the frame wheeling a baby carriage, that sort of thing. It’s depressing when, with all this money, even the technical departments don’t bother.
A number of good actors walk in and out of the frames – Saurabh Shukla, Sanjay Mishra, Rajit Kapoor, and an embarrassed-looking Randeep Hooda, who plays the thankless role Shashi Kapoor played in some of the Bachchan outings. I did enjoy watching Nawazuddin Siddiqui, though. The minute he enters the film, the sluggish proceedings suddenly come alive. His first scene is terrific. He doesn’t have much of a role – odd, considering he’s the villain – but what screen time he gets he chews up with relish. He sings old Hindi film songs. He laughs like a wheezy hyena. He punctuates his utterances with the sound of a ping pong ball hitting the paddle. He commits murder using bubble wrap. It’s strange that this supposed “art-film actor” gets so completely into the spirit of a masala movie and does his darnedest to keep us entertained. Is it too much to ask the same of others, that they earn their fat paycheques?
KEY:
* Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani = see here
* Kal Ho Naa Ho = see here
* Telugu hit = see here
* Dabangg = see here
* Aare pritam pyaare = see here
* kielbasa = see here
* herogiri = the things that a hero does
* Saat samundar paar = see here
* Nawazuddin Siddiqui = see here
Copyright ©2014 Baradwaj Rangan. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
MANK
July 26, 2014
Brangan sir, this piece rocks. What a riot man. Mazaa aa gaya. Every line is a punchline. I was unfortunate enough to watch the telugu original- only bcoz i had the hots for Ilyana at the time-. that was more than enough for me. As you pointed out rightly that dabangg was the last salman film that i liked. The films after that has been so bad that i have totally given up on him. He never ‘Acted’ so to speak in any film, But he was a quintessential star performer in dabangg and wanted and all. But now he has given up on doing that as well. He just put on these crazy costumes and walks or rather struts around. The consecutive successes of his films hasnt helped this either. No wonder he is begging the critics to give his films a negative star rating.
You review reaffirms my belief in good film criticism. I have been watching in sheer disbelief with the critics giving thumbs up to this film calling it the best salman khan film in decades and so on. what could be the reason for all the critical acclaim that this film has been garnering. Has they had enough bashing his films. Even the irresistible Raja sen has joined the bandwagon.
http://www.rediff.com/movies/report/review-kick-is-salmans-best-film-in-a-decade/20140725.htm
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venkatesh
July 26, 2014
Damn it i was looking forward to this; that cycle stunt is quite well done.
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brangan
July 26, 2014
MANK: Why should Raja Sen dislike the film just because you and I did? The important thing is not whether he liked or disliked it, but whether he JUSTIFIED his liking (or disliking) it… that’s what criticism is about.
PSA ends… 🙂
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MANK
July 26, 2014
Brangan, oh but it is so unlike him. Having read much of his past reviews of similar movies, On another day, he would have blasted this one out of the water for exactly the same reasons he SEEMS to be praising. He just didnt justify it at all IMHO. When it comes to critics – Whether its you or Khalid mohammed or roger Ebert – you do expect a certain consistency with regards to the views that you express vis a vis films. Thats what i found majorly missing in the Kick reviews. The review in many parts – it feel so contradictory He seems to be praising and bashing the film at the same time and just bookends it by calling it the best salman khan film in a decade. Kamaal hai!.
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Kalpesh Jain
July 26, 2014
Sir, Everything is fine but I don’t find anything wrong in shaina taking DeviL her home because the doc did things as he was instructed by Devi
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aditebanerjie
July 26, 2014
Thanks for a kickass review!!
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Hansda Sowvendra Shekhar
July 26, 2014
“What self-respecting masala movie goes to a charity ball? Why not situate the same scene in a mela? A lot is lost when you take a quintessentially Indian genre and set it in a foreign country that doesn’t get much sun. It turns cold. And it looks ridiculous because the filmmakers don’t want to make a cool, Hollywood-style movie – they want all the elements of the great Indian tamasha, but they want it in Warsaw. It’s like making kebabs from a kielbasa recipe.”
Baradwaj, you’ve nailed it here. This passage of yours gave me a kick!
By the way, I quite liked Sajid Nadiadwala’s tribute to his late wife Divya Bharti: making Salman Khan dance to the Saat Samundar number in his unique Salman Khan style.
Nawazuddin Siddiqui was brilliant! He was so menacing he should have been called Devil. Salman was just a hulk. It was unbelievable (“un-jhel-able”, to use Jacquline’s word for him) seeing him do all those stunts. But then, post-Wanted, which of Salman’s films have been believable?
I saw Kick yesterday, 6 P.M. show, in the small cinema hall in my small town, full of Bhai’s fans. There were noises and whistles through the show. The only time the hall fell silent was when Jacqueline did her lissome moves in the Jumme ki Raat song.
P.S. I will need at least a week to recover from this kick I had. And no, I can do without a psychiatrist like Dr. Shaina Mehra.
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Rakesh
July 26, 2014
What a phenomenal video you have linked for Saat Samundar Paar, the lady whirls around like a ‘Disco Tornado’, and my expression resembled the groom from the movie Dev D, who watches agape when Mahie Gill does that little ditty during the song Emotional Atyachaar , the way this lady struggles to adjust her pallu and yet not skip a beat ! Made my day … 🙂
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Abhirup
July 26, 2014
I liked Nawazuddin Siddique too, but I think he isn’t quite the man for this role. Every self-respecting ‘masala’ film has to have a big one-on-one fight between the hero and the antagonist at the end, and that’s not possible if Siddique is playing the villain to Salman Khan’s hero: who, after all, is going to buy that this short, scrawny man can take on the brawny, pumped-up Salman? I think it would have been better if Randeep Hooda had played the antagonist, and Irrfan Khan or Manoj Bajpai had been selected to play the policeman.
I agree entirely that all the filmmakers had to do was to watch ‘Dabangg’ to know how a Salman-starrer ought to be made. Which, in turn, is proof of the fact that ‘masala’ films are an art in their own right, that no matter how “easy” it seems making them is, it actually requires a lot of talent and effort to pull them off. ‘Kick’ had some ingredients of a worthwhile ‘masala’ fare. I liked many of the one-liners, the getting-off-the-bicycle-and-casually-walking-away-as-the-train-approaches moment, and the way the bus chase is capped off, with those slight smiles and motions of Salman as he mockingly asks Hooda to move aside. Also, ‘Jumme ki raat’ is quite a foot-tapping number. But on the whole, I didn’t get what the title promises. What, in fact, all good ‘masala’ films provide. I think I shall go and re-watch ‘Dabangg’, and wait for something like it to come along.
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KayKay
July 26, 2014
HaHaHa….I love it when you sharpen your claws on the grindstone of Pure Schlock of the kind only the likes of Ajith, Vijay, Salman and their ilk can purvey.
“You walk up to the doctor who’s treating the patient and announce that you’re a psychiatrist, and he’ll let you take the patient home in order to implement the highly regimented treatment procedure called… TLC”
LOL!
Although even some of the best Hollywood movies aren’t immune to these types of contrivances.
I’m reminded of John Landis’ An American Werewolf In London, a masterful combination of horror and humor, which nevertheless had Jenny Agutter’s Nurse take home her patient David Naughton where she proceeds to teach him the finer points of hygiene by showering together and the finer points of sharing a single bed by….well you can figure that one out 🙂
And while the temptation to snark at a director’s attempt to pass of a former Miss Sri Lanka as a psychiatrist by slapping on a pair of glasses is pretty strong, I’m reminded of this Summer’s Biggest Blockbuster that put a blowtorch in Mark Wahlberg’s hands to pass him off as an….inventor.
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Ravi K
July 27, 2014
Sounds like this movie should be called “Kick in the Balls.”
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Sam
July 27, 2014
It’s hard to be disappointed by a Salman Khan film as you never expect too much, but from the trailer I was hoping for something with more effort put into it. It ended up being the same shit with better cinematography, and might be the dullest of Salman’s films in recent years. It was surprisingly low on deliriously silly moments that make films like Bodyguard and Jai Ho fun. I mean, he doesn’t even take his shirt off in a ridiculously awesome way (or at all, if I’m remembering correctly). If you look at it as a slightly more international/multiplexy Salman film, it doesn’t work nearly as well as Ek Tha Tiger. I suppose I give props to Sajid Nadiadwala as a director for convincing Sajid Nadiadwala as a producer to give Ayananka Bose enough money to make things look pretty (and the production and costume people as well).. But beneath the gloss everything is so ordinary. Raja Sen liked it better than Dhoom 3 because it was less self serious, but that film had a handful of legitimately strong moments (Kamli, some of the action) which aren’t found here. All of the best action shots are in the trailer and none work well as actual sequences in the film. I appreciated the cracked out picturization of the devil song (the only memorable song in the film) but after 30 seconds of “WTF am I watching” there’s nothing to it. Jaqcueline looked hot in Jumme Ki Raat but the choreo is nothing worth rewinding. The best part really is Nawazuddin, and I can’t believe they waited post interval to bring him in. He made me think of Riteish in Ek Villain, who I thought was overpraised. Imagine Nawazuddin in that part.
Speaking of Riteish and your statement on the devolution of masala, has anyone seen Lai Bhaari? Curious if it lives up to the hype (and Ajay-Atul’s songs). Good masala movies are so rare today, though I assume they must exist on a regional level that I’m not exposed to.
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brangan
July 28, 2014
Abhirup: I agree about the need for the big one-on-one at the end, but I was getting tired of Sonu Sood being cast in that part, and enjoyed Nawazuddin for a change. He’s a comic villain, which takes off some of the punch in the movie’s masala quotient, but hell, he was at least trying… compared to the others.
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Abhirup
July 28, 2014
“I was getting tired of Sonu Sood being cast in that part”
Which is why I suggested Randeep Hooda.
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Rahul
July 28, 2014
Interesting review here
http://sudhishkamath.com/2014/07/25/kick-desire-it-deserve-it/
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burcidibollyreview
July 28, 2014
Love this!!!
(Refer also Padukone, Deepika in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani; Zinta, Preity in Kal Ho Naa Ho.)
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SWMNBN
August 3, 2014
http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/randeep-hooda-working-in-kick-with-salman-khan-was-inspiring/
Looks like he enjoyed it.
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Utkal
August 4, 2014
I like the way the film starts – a bespectacled Jacqueline ( Shaina)stirring out of the house languorously against a lilting enough but not particularly memorable song. Then it moves on nicely with Randeep Hooda ( Himanshu) and Jacqueline in the metro train as Jackie tells her about her amazing boyfriend Devi Lal ( Salman Khan). Himanshu too shares his story about the man in his life, the criminal he failed to catch. We know it is the same man they are talking about and I thought it was a smart way of setting up the story and dispensing the obligatory hero introduction scene.
At this point I am quite surprised with the degree of professionalism with which the film has been mounted. Ayanank Bose’s cinematography is lush. The writing is first rate. The conversation between Himnshu and Shaina in the train, for example, is the way two sensible adults would talk. Both Randeep and Jackie avoid any over-the-top histrionics.
Fortunately the film keeps up its smart strain throughout. The righting is always competent, the lines smart, the repartees witty. Not much happens in the first half. It is mainly a character exposition of Devi Lal through episodes. And Salman carries the scenes through effortlessly. I have always thought he is the handsomest star in Hindi film screen. You can have your Hrithik, I am all for the human touch of Salman. Here he is in full flow, moving his toned body gracefully at times, comically at others. His comic timing is god as ever. He is especially lovable in the drunken scene with his father played by Mithun.
As the film progressed I am even more surprised by the professional competence with which the film has been put together. The writing is not lazy. Nowhere is there an attempt to insult your intelligence. If there is an explanation for the code ‘ LOSER’, there is another for how Devi Lal simply becomes Devil. The action sequences as well the heists are more logical, more credible and better staged than in Dhoom 2 or Dhoom3. ( Think of the scene where the peonleads to the hidden cache of 50 crores after the police interrogation.) And the attention to detail is something you do not see in an average Bollywood film, let alone in a Salman Khan caper. It is a really hard-worked film. If Devi Lal’s academic excellence has to be established, there are a bunch of certificates with his name clearly visible on each of them. When Randeep says, “ Mere vardi mein medals toh bahut lage hain lekin dhaba sirf ek’, we get to see his past successes, involving diverse situations, in quick succession, but in faithful detail, before coming to the sole failure. ( I like the spontaneous wit of lines like Salman telling Randeep, referring to his shooting skills “ Aap Olympics mein kyun nahin participate karte hain? Medals to wahan bhi milte hain.”)
And one has to but admire the scale and standard of the film’s mounting when they can get actors like Rajat Kapoor, Saurabh Shukla and Sanjay Mishra for bit parts. And they all deliver. Then there is the master himself – Nawajuddin Siddiqi. Wahta performance! His scenes have been very well-written too. Take the scene where he kills the doctor played by Rajat Kapoor. He starts by quoting Ghalib,‘Maut ka ek din muayyan hai, nind kyon rat bhar nahi ati / Pehle aati thi haal-e-dil pe hansi, ab kisi baat par nahin aati’ , followed by the manic laughter. Then he smothers him with what is available at hand, a bubble wrap sheet. Then he mentions how stress kills so many of us and trues to relieve his own by bursting the bubbles one by one. I can see the film again just to see him perform.
The songs have been picturized with zest and zing. I have always thought Himesh does great dance numbers, and I loved the kickass club beat of Yaar Na Mila song as well as Hangover and Jumme Ki Raat. One compliant though – only the context of the Hangover song has been built through what Salman has said to Jackie earlier. But no such justification for the Jumme Ki Raat song ( unlike say the ; Jumma Chumma’ song in ‘Hum’).
The segment with the child with cancer has been built up with same logical consistency as rest of the film. (Her asking for money, which we have seen earlier, now revealed to be for her own treatment, the psychological soundness of the greatest kick being the one you get from helping someone else in dire need, etc.) But is a little mawkish and manipulative for my taste and I could not warm up to this section sufficiently enough.
In many ways this really is the real Dhoom 3 and the one that came before this is really an Aamir Khan drama. I thought it was superior to Dhoom 3 in almost all departments, including performances. Yet, in the final reckoning, Dhoom 3 gave me bigger high ( or a stronger kick if you like) for the sheer inventiveness of the Sahir-Samar duality and the innocent and yet obsessive passion that Samar develops for the liquid electric Aaliya. It’s Dostoevsky there for me. That and the sheer radiance with which Katrina lights up the screen anytime she is there. And looking back, I must say, I enjoyed Chennai Express more, once again, because of its effortless caper movement of the narrative and the sheer charm and innocence of the Meenamma character. In other words, Chennai Express and Dhoom 3 ( I hated the motorcycle stunts and heist portions of the film) for me had a bit more soul than ‘ Kick’ which has been put together cleverly and competently with not too many holes you can pick.
But I have no hesitation in putting on record that ‘Kick’ is the more technically proficient film than the other two. And I think it is a good omen for Bollywood if Salman Khan Potboilers are put together with this degree of professional excellence.
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ramitbajaj01
August 5, 2014
Ok, so, Kick is not a masala movie, but then what is it? Large number of people enjoy such movies. Lots of money is earned from it. A genre is then surely waiting to be coined, no?
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venkatesh
August 6, 2014
Dude , that Saat Samundar lady is an absolute star ; what an awesome performer.
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Blasta
December 20, 2019
The writing kind of sparkles, with insights….
It must be the rare wrong film that puts you in the mood
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