Spoilers ahead…
The ideal Sundar C movie would last 30 minutes. Don’t believe me? Then do the math yourself. Aambala, for instance, goes on for some two-and-a-half hours. The songs take up about half an hour, and they add nothing – despite the fact that the tunes by Hiphop Thamizha are really catchy. Take away the protracted, been-there-done-that action sequences, and that’s another half-hour gone. That leaves us with an hour-and-a-half of narrative, which is not why we go to a Sundar C movie. (The plot is about the protagonist’s attempt to reunite his family… or something.) Take away an hour of this, and you’re left with 30 minutes of pretty decent comedy – no, not the revelation that Hansika plays a Botany student, but some crack one-liners from Santhanam and a nice little set piece involving a closed window and a stolen bottle of water. The question, as always with these films, is this: Why should we endure the other two hours, when some kind soul will, at some point, put up on YouTube the 30 minutes that really matter?
Since my profession does not allow me the option of waiting that long, I suppose I have to formulate some thoughts around this film. I’ll begin by wondering why Vishal, after Pandiya Naadu and Naan Sigappu Manidhan, is back to this kind of masala. Well, the answer is obvious. These are safer bets. Still… Also, is there a hint of a political career in the offing? Consider his character’s (named Saravanan, not that it matters) retort to a political underling who asks, “Enga edathukku vara aasai padareengala?” Saravanan says, “Unga velaya neenga ozhunga senjaa naan yaen saar unga edathukku varren?” Maybe this is just something that’s trying too hard to be a punch line. Still, you cannot rule out the other possibility. I felt a little sorry for Vishal, though. His name came up first – he is the aambala, after all – but Hansika’s name (her character is called Maya, not that it matters) got more whistles.
You slowly see why. In one scene, the pallu of her sari gets caught on something and slips, and Saravanan, on behalf of the teenage males in the audience, opens his mouth wide, as if his most fervent prayers have been answered. Later, Maya goes jogging and the camera stops to gaze at her behind – Saravanan’s reaction suggests he’s just been confronted with the marvels of the Sistine Chapel. A little ahead, we find Maya having a furtive phone conversation with Saravanan, and when someone passes by, she drops her mobile into her blouse – at the other end, Saravanan practically passes out. Maybe the camera was on? Ah, Hansika Motwani – the flavor du jour. What a lottery it must be, lucking into Tamil cinema like this. No learning lines, no acting, just a lot of new clothes and the opportunity to travel around the world, plus tons of money – is there a happier life? All my griping about these heroines is probably just sour grapes. Maybe I’d be happier too if someone else was typing out this review and I was just pretending to move my fingers… in Amsterdam.
I doubt Sundar C devotes much thought to existential underpinnings, but the casting of Kiran had me intrigued. Remember her? She was the flavor du jour about a decade ago, and now she’s playing the mother of a girl so grown up, she must have had her when she was 10. Did Hansika meet Kiran on the sets and wonder if she was looking at a ten-years-later version of herself? I’d give good money to know. Anyway, one plot point has Kiran bundled into a sack and carted around by Saravanan and his two cohorts (Vaibhav, Sathish). This is the kind of movie where the number of sacks equals the number of men, and the other sacks are filled with women too – Aishwarya (because you always call on Aishwarya when there are many women-0f-a-certain-age roles) and Ramya Krishnan (because you always call on Ramya Krishnan when one of these women-0f-a-certain-age is a ball-breaker). Prabhu is in there somewhere, attempting to anchor the story with some semblance of emotion. I like this actor. I like his voice. He almost always adds something to the one-dimensional roles he gets. Plus, he can do comedy. Only, here, he’s asked to put on his glum face. But that shouldn’t have been very difficult. One look at the script should have been enough.
KEY:
- aambala = he-man!
- “Enga edathukku vara aasai padareengala?” = Trying to take my place?
- “Unga velaya neenga ozhunga senjaa naan yaen saar unga edathukku varren?” = If you did what you said you’d do, why would I try to take your place?
- Kiran = see here
- Aishwarya = see her in this Ilayaraja song, from about the time he was segueing into his synth-dominant phase
- Ramya Krishnan = see here
An edited version of this piece can be found here. Copyright ©2014 The Hindu. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
rajeshwar
January 15, 2015
Very true starting lines, Why cant he skip those songs and needless unimaginative fights
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Aravindan
January 15, 2015
HAHAHAHA!
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Ashutosh
January 15, 2015
In a culmination of a series of unfortunate events that I find too painful to recount, I watched the first show of this movie today. When I came back home and my aunt asked me how the film was, I couldn’t say anything at all, except grunt and ask her if she had some food for me. So, it’s totally amazing that you have four whole paragraphs of interesting stuff to write about this film. You have achieved what Flaubert wistfully dreamed of and failed. You have written an article about nothing: all style.
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Ram Murali
January 15, 2015
Thalaivarey, Full form-la irukeenge! Come on, you can’t complain about movies like Aambala and Anjaan. What else would give you an excuse to be this funny!
LOL at the following lines…
reaction suggests he’s just been confronted with the marvels of the Sistine Chapel.
now she’s playing the mother of a girl so grown up, she must have had her when she was 10.
Only, here, he’s asked to put on his glum face. But that shouldn’t have been very difficult. One look at the script should have been enough.
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uniquebluerose
January 15, 2015
The name itself was just so…what should i say “unique” that i know the movie will have nothing to offer me other than a review from you to look forward to sir!!!
Not that it matter but in your key…Aishwariya does not have any link leading to any video!!!
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marees
January 15, 2015
amazing review. But I don’t know anybody with whom I can share this review…
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Viswaram
January 15, 2015
Actually that political dialogue part is referring to Vishaal’s undergoing spat with the Nadigar Sangam head honchos, and how he wants to contest their elections. Useless bit of trivia, I know!!
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Karthic S
January 16, 2015
“Unga velaya neenga ozhunga senjaa naan yaen saar unga edathukku varren?”
when Vishal says this title card shows ‘Produced by Vishal’. So I felt maybe its not a political punch 🙂
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Pranesh
January 16, 2015
Wow, you are in some form 🙂 I was thinking for a minute that a Sundar C movie had an existential question. That’s unusual 🙂
The aishwarya key doesn’t have a link btw.
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Padhma
January 16, 2015
Ashutosh, did your series of unfortunate events begin with attempting to catch FDFS of a much publicized / hyped pongal release? If it did, I wonder whether the outcome may have been any different, going by BR’s review (and the comments) of said movie.
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Iswarya
January 16, 2015
Looking at the title of the review, I was startled to even imagine a Sundar C movie accommodating an existential question. But, the review made my day, especially after the depression of watching I.
Love these bad movies for inspiring your most entertaining reviews. More power to them, if this is what is going to result from every bad movie you watch, BR. No matter how annoying the film-watching experience is, don’t you enjoy this lampooning too? 🙂
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Anu Warrier
January 16, 2015
And I thought I had finished laughing when I was reading your book! 🙂
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Metafore
January 16, 2015
“Plus, he can do comedy. Only, here, he’s asked to put on his glum face. But that shouldn’t have been very difficult. One look at the script should have been enough.”
🙂 Had me in splits.
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jussomebody
January 16, 2015
Super entertaining read! Why special vitriol reserved for Hansika Motwani though? IMO, she is just as offensive as say, Tamannah or Shriya – don’t look Tamil, don’t do shit.
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Ashutosh
January 16, 2015
@Padhma: what different outcome? I don’t understand… I thought the film was totally random. But I typically don’t go to a film to “enjoy” it; so, I love bad art as much as I love good art–probably I like it more, it brings into relief why good art actually works and teaches how to appreciate.
@Iswarya: Not trying to be a fanboy or anything (but this review was seriously genius, even more than Anjaan because at least that film gave us plenty to mock, this film is blah). I differ with you on a technicality… you used the word “lampooning”… but I don’t think BR is lampooning bad films; he isn’t simply thinking OK this film is crap, let’s make fun of it, which would frankly be a pretty lazy thing to do. He is actually bringing the same critical apparatus he brings to films that actually have meat to chew on, say a Mysskin film, and the humor that ensues actually comes out of the absurdity of the whole exercise. So, imagine you went to a bodybuilding competition after preparing for months lifting 100 kg weights and in the competition they don’t give you any weights. They ask you to imagine weights and go through the routines. It’s funny because it’s absurd. So, instead of mocking the film, this review is in a way self-deprecatory… he is making a joke on himself for earnestly watching the film instead of chewing on a samosa and frantically looking for a pea that slipped out when was taking a bite. So, for me, the whole exercise is delightfully high brow but not condescending (which is lazy).
But, I agree he enjoys the whole thing… his reviews are already highly personal and idiosyncratic… a bad film with such little material lets him go all the way. Which is why I said, given his source material is his personal response to films and given that these films dare him by not giving him anything coherent, it’s amazing that he can weave a coherent narrative in the review.
The above cannot just be my own hyper-reading… he does after all begin by saying 🙂
“Since my profession does not allow me the option of waiting that long, I suppose I have to formulate some thoughts around this film.”
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uniquebluerose
January 16, 2015
@jussomebody…What is in a name…(replace it with Tamannah/Shriya/Kajal Agarwal) who cares who the actress as long as she is to Ranjan sir ” the flavor du jour”
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Jeeva Pitchaimani
January 16, 2015
I loved your take on Prabhu, Rangan. Not many would accept that. Prabhu is emoting better now than he was during his prime. The scene where confronts the villain with Surya in Ayan, lifting the former chewing pieces of laddu , showed that he was something. If you would have seen Thamirabharani, Prabhu was very nice.
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doctorhari
January 16, 2015
Hilarious review. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Hope you visit and review more duds like this once in a while. 🙂
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brangan
January 16, 2015
jussomebody:don’t look Tamil, don’t do shit
Hahahaha. Strong candidate for a T-shirt slogan, I say! 😀
Ashutosh: You’re right in that these “blah” films are seriously difficult to write about. The lazy way to review these films is to say “screenplay is poor, this actor is wasted” and so on — but what use is that? You could say that about every bad film. The challenge is in making the review “particular” to this bad film, so that it’s not just a case of taking a template and changing the names of actors and director.
So you’re very right about the fact that “humor that ensues actually comes out of the absurdity of the whole exercise” — it’s the experience, this particular experience, that gives you the lines. You just have to have your antennae pointed at that source (or be in the zone, if you prefer) and get those lines.
It’s tough to explain and I realise this is sounding somewhat conceited — like some rishi on a mountaintop giving gyaan to mere mortals — but I don’t know how else to state it.
I really liked your comment — not because of the nice things you say, but because you’re a writer too and you obviously know what it’s like to write something. In other words, you have the kind of X-ray vision into the process that non-writers don’t have. But I’m happy if this is treated as just a “funny” review too, without this meta inference 🙂
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Ashutosh
January 16, 2015
@brangan: Thanks for the super detailed reply!
“have your antennae pointed at that source”
So, I guess the main thing is to not become bored and start thinking of other things in a terrible film? Because, I didn’t register anything. I came back feeling pretty dazed. It could have been the loudness too. When the background score (made up purely of dholaks with maximum high reverb I think) played for the first time when the title was displayed, I started feeling I might throw up any time. But I guess that’s how one produces “high energy” scores in our films.
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Abishek
January 16, 2015
Your review is more fun than the actual movie…Guess what its free and just takes few minutes of our time….Kudos 🙂
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Shankar
January 16, 2015
OMG, that was a hilarious take on the film. At least people now know that your profession comes with some degree of torture just like us desk bound slaves! 🙂 Hee…Hee
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vijay
January 16, 2015
Hi…which the last movie that really impressed you…
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venkatesh
January 16, 2015
BR: I am just glad that you had no bad words to say about Sundar C . else i would have had to take up cudgels for him.
The man who brought us the full “potential” of Anjali cannot be faulted in my book 🙂
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Rudy
January 17, 2015
“l’ll begin by wondering why Vishal, after Pandiya Naadu and Naan Sigappu Manidhan , is back to this kind of masala .”
Exactly. As a matter of fact, I felt sorry for him when he signed up for Poojai. Why do some of these actors never change? Such a wasted potential Vishal. The same goes to actors like Vikram Prabhu, Karthi, Vijay sethupathy, Surya etc.
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ananthakrishnan
January 17, 2015
What a lottery it must be, lucking into Tamil cinema like this. No learning lines, no acting, just a lot of new clothes and the opportunity to travel around the world, plus tons of money – is there a happier life?
Haha!! Exactly!!!
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Sid
January 17, 2015
Sundar C called Anbe Sivam a failure in his life and probably this film will be a success, sometimes in life it’s better to have a failure like AS than to have success like this formulaic s***.
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ThouShaltNot
January 17, 2015
“..but the casting of Kiran had me intrigued. Remember her? She was the flavor du jour about a decade ago, and now she’s playing the mother of a girl so grown up, she must have had her when she was 10. Did Hansika meet Kiran on the sets and wonder if she was looking at a ten-years-later version of herself? ..”
Isn’t Hansika a deity-in-waiting like that other one (the marginally bigger) from two decades back? Unlike run-of-the-mill has beens, they linger in our consciousness way longer (evidently, they find a way).
BTW, aambala superstar = cutout + paalaabishegam, whereas pombala superstar = kovil + paalaabishegam. We don’t like ’em looming large any other way.
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Madan
January 17, 2015
Maybe I’d be happier too if someone else was typing out this review and I was just pretending to move my fingers… in Amsterdam.
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saichandrasekar
January 18, 2015
I like the observation made about Prabhu. He is such a versatile and seasoned artist who does not have the fortune of say someone like Rishi Kapoor. The latter gets meaty roles these days to expand his body of work. Unfortunately Prabhu to an extent has been slotted in repetitive and very cliched roles.
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Raj Balakrishnan
January 19, 2015
“In one scene, the pallu of her sari gets caught on something and slips, and Saravanan, on behalf of the teenage males in the audience, opens his mouth wide”
Not just the teenage males sir!
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bart
January 21, 2015
When even “I” couldn’t satisfy the cinematic senses, which other “Ambala” would? 😉
Somewhere I read that this director-actor combo were peeved that their prior magnum opus “Madha Gaja Raja” (MGR) couldn’t be released and hence they’ve compensated (by reusing some of those ideas?!) that by this movie. Now I wish that movie also to be released and BR to watch that movie and give us another delightful hilarious sagely wisdom “piece”(Apologies if that wish sounds like a curse to you 🙂 )
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Nivazr
January 28, 2015
Ha ha ha
“Only, here, he’s asked to put on his glum face. But that shouldn’t have been very difficult. One look at the script should have been enough.”
Enna oru Villathanam 😀
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Padawan
January 29, 2015
Ha ha ha. Super review. A friend of mine and I ended going to this movie because, we didn’t get tickets for I and it was great fun reading your review.
Hansika Motwani madam birthday celebrations cover panna koopitave ozhunga poirukkalam. Appo ellam pogama vittutu, ippo “What a lottery it must be, lucking into Tamil cinema like this. No learning lines, no acting, just a lot of new clothes and the opportunity to travel around the world, plus tons of money – is there a happier life?” nu sonna enna artham.
At least, you could have had some cake!
😛
BTW, Hansika Motwani madam birthday cover panna ungala koopitanga?
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brangan
January 30, 2015
Padawan: OMG, you’ve reminded me of that traumatic event and I had to search to find that discussion. Been ROFL-ing all morning at venkatesh’s comment there:
“Whats wrong with covering Hansika Madams Birthday, idhe ellam oru kelvi aa? udane pant shirt mattindu poga venamo?”
The thread’s here:
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