Spoilers ahead…
Vikram Bhatt’s Mr. X is an irredeemably bad film, and proof of its irredeemable badness arrives very early. We are with Raghu (Emraan Hashmi) and Sia (Amyra Dastur) in their bedroom. They’ve just made love – at least we think they’ve made love. We don’t actually see anything. This coyness is a little puzzling in an Emraan Hashmi movie, but then, remember, this is in 3D. Imagine him approaching the camera, mouth wide open, leaning in for one of his patented kisses… Better yet, don’t imagine it. So we cut to the aftermath. She’s in his shirt. He asks her why. She replies, “Agar tum meri tasveer apne zehan mein rakh sakte ho to main tumhara shirt apne jism pe nahin rakh sakti?” Translation: If you can have my picture in your mind, can’t I have your shirt on my body? The logic is terrible – still, you feel sorry for her. She thought Raghu had her picture in his head while making love. She doesn’t know a lot about the kind of men Hashmi plays, does she?
Mr. X is ostensibly an Emraan Hashmi movie, but he turns invisible fairly early and we’re left with Sia. When I saw Dastur in the Tamil film Anegan, I thought her terrible performance was the result of not knowing the language. I was wrong. She’s equally capable of belting out a bad performance in a language she knows. For a while, you think her awkwardness is due to the cards life has dealt her. Her father was in jail. He was responsible for her mother’s death. And now, she’s got an invisible boyfriend – and given that this boyfriend is played by Hashmi, she cannot even take a shower in peace. That’s more baggage than you’d find at the American Tourister warehouse. But slowly, you realise you have to stop making excuses for her. Dastur is shrill till the end. You wish she’d turned invisible.
This is the dullest, most generic action-adventure you’re likely to see. Raghu survives a bomb blast, but is exposed to the ensuing radiation. A friend takes him to a lab, where he is dunked in a tub of ice-cold water and fed the contents of a glowing test tube. His flesh peels off. He turns invisible. But there’s a catch. You can see him in sunlight. And so the film keeps darting between light and dark, as the special-effects guys make Hashmi appear and disappear with soundtrack whooshes that make it seem that Rajinikanth’s tossing a cigarette somewhere in the vicinity. Will Raghu get his revenge on the men who reduced him to this state? That’s the question we’re supposed to chew on, but there’s a more interesting one: When Raghu vanishes, why do his clothes vanish too? But again, we have to remember that this is a 3D film. You do not want a nude Emraan Hashmi charging towards your glasses.
Copyright ©2015 Baradwaj Rangan. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
venkatesh
April 24, 2015
“They’ve just made love – at least we think they’ve made love. We don’t actually see anything.”
I sense disappointment BR.
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Cinemakkaran
April 24, 2015
http://www.buzzfeed.com/sahilrizwan/the-vigil-idiot-reviews-mr-x-a-film-with-an-invisible-protag
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theworldofacinemapaithiyam
April 25, 2015
Hilarious!
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Anon
April 25, 2015
The comment on Amyra Dastur reminded me of this interview with Nithya Menen.
http://www.firstpost.com/bollywood/ok-kanmani-star-nithya-menen-universe-wants-test-makes-actor-2211242.html
Quoting her from the interview –
“I don’t think I’m really awesome. I’m just good and I have the basic thing that anybody needs to have to be an actor, to do this job. I believe that today the standard has dropped so much, that there are so many non-actors, that the minute somebody can act they become super awesome”
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Pranesh
April 25, 2015
Phew. I’m almost missing the heat in the comments section.
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Vikram Sonni
April 25, 2015
BR, phew….after all the terabytes spent by ppl commenting on your last post about the-subject-that-i-am-scared-to-mention….this review is a welcome change….. That barb about baggage in a luggage shop….priceless… 🙂 )
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Aravind Ramachandran
April 25, 2015
Keep them coming man! Like I said, I look forward to the review more than the movie …
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Rosham
April 26, 2015
Hashmi has been doing really bad films in recent times….BR, what film or films of his do u like?
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Rahul
April 26, 2015
“If you can have my picture in your mind, can’t I have your shirt on my body? The logic is terrible”
Hahaha. Whats wrong with the logic? I dare you to come up with a better logic than that.
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MANK
April 26, 2015
When Raghu vanishes, why do his clothes vanish too? But again, we have to remember that this is a 3D film. You do not want a nude Emraan Hashmi charging towards your glasses.
Ha ,Ha, Le li Hashmi ki :-). Never thought you would watch and review this one.But i guess like the just departed critic Richard Corliss said ‘Everything is worth watching!’
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K.
April 26, 2015
BR, I searched this blog for Kanti Shah and was disappointed that it returned zero results. Your thoughts on Gunda and the likes? 😀
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