The title is as literal as it gets and makes me a little unhappy for not coming up with a smarter heading. But hey, as a first time writer I forgive myself.
Growing up, dancing was an alien concept. Parties in our tiny Mumbai flats meant men drinking rum and whisky, women chatting and kids playing saap seedi on the bed. Music at home were tapes of selected songs to be enjoyed for ourselves but when people came, we mostly talked. Somewhere during my early teens people started dancing on New Year’s Eve. Songs were usually from the one or two albums and for some reason Funky Town was always played. Bollywood music had a presence via Chitrahaar and Chaayageet and those were never to be missed, but not really played at home for parties. Dancing was very foreign and it followed that only western music be played because it was a foreign thing to do. (Disclaimer – I am sure Punjabis always knew this ‘dance to celebrate’ pat down.)
So when did Bollywood dancing become a thing? I tend to think of Madhuri Dixit and Ek Do Teen being the spark after which trademark steps and choreography became a thing. Fast forward a few years, better music systems became available in homes and dancing in parties to hit songs became a thing. It was still mostly Michael Jackson and Madonna and other ‘English’ songs. Someone grooving to Hindi songs was usually a comic relief. Unless there was this one person who knew how to do the exact Tamma Tamma step but that would then be a performance.
In the late nineties, private albums and music videos started becoming popular and gradually Indian songs started to take over. Gori naal Ishq, Pari hoon main, Ghaagro jo ghoomiyo, all these popular numbers along with Daler Mehendi became the music that brought maximum participation on the dance floor in middle class parties.
I had now moved to the other side of the world. Finances improved, home sizes grew, spending habits changed and dancing became more frequent. Party planning starts with Save the date, book the DJ and order food. Some people even mention dress codes but I digress. Dancing is now more common than not. The frequency much more than just New Year’s Eve. Today there are desi DJs who know how to get the crowd moving. People talk about how a particular DJ gets the pulse better than the other. Hindi song requests are made and English songs are when a lot of us take a bathroom break or rest the leg. We seem to have come a long way and Bollywood music is firmly in.
By the way, I love to dance. Much to the chagrin of my children, often my spouse and perhaps polite others who are er polite. With two left feet, no formal training in dance, growing up being shy in the rare party scenes and completely alien to the concept of a discotheque, it gives me great pleasure to just let go and dance. But only to Bollywood music. With age came the ability to realize that it is ok to not enjoy dancing to certain music over others. Perhaps it is the familiarity of the song that makes it easier to dance to them. Perhaps Bollywood music is just better.
So what are you dancing to?
Anamika Chatterjee
Baradwaj Rangan 
Purple Sky
February 10, 2018
The 90 d was indeed a great time in terms of Hindi music. So much variety, so many pop albums. MTV and VTV had a ball then. I don’t know whether bad programming on MTV is a result of languishing of the Indian pop scene. But nowadays dance music almost seems to be the same. Theme disco, strobe lights that make your eyes hurt, a rap with a lot of intelligible words and a beat that sounds very, very familiar… I love the 90s
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Rahul
February 10, 2018
The ultimate dance song for 90’s kids is Sukhbir’s Ishq tera tadpaave. Even now, play that song at NRI parties at your own risk. Even the nerdiest of them all will try to dance, whatever state they are in.
I remember , I was talking to a friend about a new start up idea while standing , with a plate of food in hand. The song came on . Suddenly, he raised his hand in the air and started making motions with his leg as if he is trying to kick start a scooter. Ho ho ho ho…ho ho ho ho. Some pieces of gobhi rolled on the floor, some dal spilled on his shirt. -Luckily he had enough presence of mind to keep the plate on the ground and he continued to shake hysterically , I convinced the hosts that there was nothing wrong with the food.
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tonks
February 10, 2018
And more recently, there is the flash mob. I’ve participated in three, but we have them quite frequently at the place where I work. In the bus stand, the railway station, the municipal office and so on. Usually used to publicise a cause, but it is also great fun. Our institution was a pioneer in my state but now, its very common out here. Usually we dance to a motley medley of English, Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam fast songs, each lasting a few minutes. More and more people join in with each successive song and the passers by gape and take videos, whipping out their mobiles. And the event is usually featured in the newspapers the next day.
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Vivek narain
February 11, 2018
Britney Spears
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"Original" venkatesh
February 11, 2018
Something that came of age during the 90’s was non-Bollywood Indian music.
A bit sad that all of those seem to have died out.
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Anu Warrier
February 11, 2018
This piece hits home in an entirely different way – I’ve always liked to dance, but Mallus are not known for ‘that’ type of entertainment. Usually, they are busy turning up their noses at ‘those north Indians’ (who, in my opinion, usually know how to have a great time!). 🙂
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Vidya Ramesh
February 11, 2018
Dancing and Tam brams are like poles apart. I lived in Delhi vfor 6 yrs and everytime I would attend a Sangeet all I could think of was what would happen if I danced at my wedding like this bride is doing at hers? My grandmother would pop her middle cerebral artery 🙂 koothadikkaradhukal kaligalam vandhacchu would be her refrain. The only social gathering I ever danced at was a college fest party..kajra re was the song of the year and boy was feeling like Aishwarya then!
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Rahul
February 11, 2018
Anu Warrier – “but Mallus are not known for ‘that’ type of entertainment”
Here is a counterexample
Really love it when Indrajith goes absolutely bonkers.
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AK
February 12, 2018
For very long, dolls that needed to be winded up would be dancing to Dhol Bhaje in this weird contorted repetitive manner that would not seem out of place in a horror movie.
And Made in India is really a 90s classic and the highlight is Milind Soman in the video, he is gorgeous!
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Anu Warrier
February 12, 2018
Rahul, 🙂 I’m not talking about films. If you see my Mallu social circle (where are the Mallus of Tonk’s acquaintance who dance on the street? 🙂 ) they all tend to look like they have a perpetual bad smell under their noses.
For example, we were invited to a pan-Indian Diwali celebration. As my friend (and fellow-sufferer) put it, the Mallus in the crowd were the only ones who were sitting grumpily aside, while every other single invitee was busy shaking a leg. They not only manage to not participate, they also looked disapprovingly at everyone – the superiority complex, the ‘we’re better than them’ attitude is irritating. (And I say this as a Mallu myself.)
I honestly don’t know if it is restricted to the East Coast Mallus. I wager not – my niece recently married into a UP household, and the ‘girl’s side’ (with the exception of my eldest sister-in-law and me) looked snootily at the groom’s side having the time of their lives.
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tonks
February 12, 2018
The times they are a changing, Anu. I was there when they did this. Here you go :
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tonks
February 12, 2018
Municipal stand
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tonks
February 12, 2018
Shakthan
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Anamika
February 12, 2018
Thanks for posting this BR. It was fun and these comments here are interesting to read.
@Anu – not just Mallus. A large section of Bengalis I know would behave exactly the same. Dancing was beneath them.Times are a changing tough. I hear Bengali weddings now have Sangeet and Mehendi nights. I say why not 🙂
@Tonks – I want to be in a flash mob now.
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KP
February 12, 2018
Times are changing
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Anu Warrier
February 13, 2018
Tonks – my! Thrissur is rocking! 🙂 Like Anamika, now I want to be part of that flash mob. 🙂
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Anu Warrier
February 13, 2018
Anamika, I hear Bengali weddings now have Sangeet and Mehendi nights. I say why not
One part of me says ‘Why not?’ as well. (Our weddings also seem to have it nowadays.) But another part of me says we are losing our cultural moorings by homogenising everything to what Hindi cinema does. That we will end up losing a lot more to add just that bit of fun… our traditional wedding clothes have already been sacrificed for over-priced ghagra-cholis and sherwanis. Wedding customs that are unique to geography, culture, sub-cultures, are all dying out because we have Karan Johar-induced aspirations to follow. I can’t help but feel a bit sad.
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Hema Kariyappa
February 13, 2018
Anamika, I’m reminded of my very first dance-at-a-party at your New Year’s Eve on the terrace! How innocently simple and coming-of-age it seemed back then. My favourite from back then would have to be ‘Pari Hoon Main’ by Suneeta Rao which still reigns supreme now in various forms.
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Anamika
February 13, 2018
Anu – Yes, that is indeed worth lamenting. There is nostalgia for customs we grew up seeing and those are fading away. With all these add-ons, weddings, I hear, have become very stressful, even for guests! And expensive.
Hema – 🙂 Fav song for me too
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Anu Warrier
February 13, 2018
Pari hoon main – my favourite memory of that song is of Hemant Kenkre doing a parody of Sunita Rao to that song at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party, while waxing eloquent about her. 🙂
Yeah, my niece’s wedding reception ghagra was around 30K, she wanted a ‘beach’ wedding, and sangeet – luckily, my brother said she could walk up to Calicut beach and get married amidst the stink, so that put paid to that. 🙂
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Vivek narain
February 14, 2018
Dancing doesn’t come easy for most, the best dancers are mostly slender girls with oblong face, aged 10 to 20. Marriage parties are not the ideal venue for any worthwhile exhibition of hidden talents, birthday parties are more favourable for uninhibited natural show of histrionics. Alcohol induced levity at marriage parties brings out the ugliest and corniest caricature of a dance from punjabi males, who imagine they are the legitimate inheritors of the bollywood greats. And it is a fact that punjabi heroes were the most stylish actors and dancers of the golden era from ’55 to ’75 among males, but that doesn’t confer their brethren a right to behave silly and create a legacy of silliness.
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Sutheesh Kumar
February 14, 2018
Hi Tonks, i’ve watched those flash mobs you posted here just after watching Maheshinte Prathikaaram. Now after your revelation i picture you as Jimsy from the same movie.
Hi Anu, are you from Thrissur too? If you are, then no wonder your comments are as luminous, sparkling and thunderous, just like our famed Thrissur Vedikettu☺️
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Uma
February 14, 2018
Times are definitely changing and you see dances at Tamil weddings after reception. People just want to have fun. I miss the 90s fun song too. What I hate about the current lot of songs are heroines gyrating in itsy Bitsy clothes and these songs playing on a loop in Indian restaraunts and having to think of ways to not have my son face the display screen.
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sanjana
February 14, 2018
To dance with grace, one has to join some classes. Come to gujarat to enjoy night long dances during navratras when young girls dance gracefully while others dance just for the heck of it. Punjabi dances are more robust. Not to forget goan dances both traditional and western.
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Anu Warrier
February 14, 2018
Sutheesh, born in Thrissur; bred and buttered in Madras and Bangalore; lived and worked in Bombay and now in exiled in the US. 🙂
Thrissur vedikettu – Ouch! 🙂
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Madan
February 14, 2018
@Uma But even in the 90s there was this hit song from Sooryavamsam with the lyrics line Adada Alwa Thundu Idippu Un Idippu. Here in Mumbai Govinda songs routinely had double meaning and parents maybe didn’t know that the kids knew. That’s the nature of the beast. Nothing much can be done about it.
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Madan
February 14, 2018
I too dislike these cake cutting, mehndi etc creeping into South Indian weddings, but it is what it is. As the play title goes, blame it on Yashraj! It’s nice to see live nadaswaram and molam in Tamil marriage ceremonies, something that is fading away.
On a lighter note, a relative of mine living in the US had an Indian style wedding. A CD with the appropriate pieces of music was made and another American bred Desi entrusted with shuffling it. Unsurprisingly he was not aware of what to play when and depended on the signals from his uncle. As the groom tied the knot, I frantically urged the chap to put on the getti melam music. But he wouldn’t trust me. 😀 When his uncle belatedly approved it, the ceremony had moved on and it was comical to hear the getti melam music playing out of sync.
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Naveen
February 14, 2018
while being a Madarasi in erstwhile Bombay long back, i was pleasantly shocked/surprised to see the housing societies getting down to the road and dancing during holi , ganpati etc freely without inhibitions. phalguni pathak was a must have name during the dandiyas.
this kind of community dancing by women ( moms, grandmoms apart from the girls ) is still unthinkable in TN.
in the rural areas of TN, there are group dances ( like Kummi ) performed by women organized around temple events. in Kerala too, i believe there temple dance forms.
there are some dance events in traditional wedding in certain communities, peformed around the couple as part of the ritals like Ooonjal
is there a social/party dancing practice in the south, there is none except the taaru maaru dances in college hostels and bachelor pads.
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sanjana
February 14, 2018
‘ As the groom tied the knot, I frantically urged the chap to put on the getti melam music. But he wouldn’t trust me. 😀 When his uncle belatedly approved it, the ceremony had moved on and it was comical to hear the getti melam music playing out of sync.’
Funny incident!
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Purple Sky
February 14, 2018
I feel nostalgic listening to the train announcement! I miss home.
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Kay
February 15, 2018
Being a Tamilian, dancing was never encouraged in functions or festivals. However, my dad did encourage me dancing in school and college culturals. After getting married into an agricultural family in rural TN, I have channelled my passion for dancing into Zumba so that I get to do what I love and have my daily dose of work out, too.
It’s good to see few Tamil weddings having sangeet or a mehndi function these days. We really need to let our hair down and have some fun.
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Aadhy
February 15, 2018
Personally, I’m not a fan of big fat weddings, actually, even just wedding as an event, irrespective of whether it’s north or south Indian (consumption, food wastage, fake courtesies, rituals, public nuisance in the name of processions) and everything that accompanies these weddings (pre-wedding shoot, Sangeet, wedding montage, themes, underwater wedding, Mars wedding etc.). I get super-nauseated just by the sheer abundance at display.
Just before someone thinks “you must be fun at parties”, let me clarify by saying I really love dancing and celebrating. I used to do hip-hop in college and can totally do what people in Tamil call as erangi kuthu It’s just that I would like to do it in an intimate setup. A registration and an intimate party with some 30 people (close family and friends) who we really care about (and vice versa), whose presence mean something to us, would be my way of wedding.
And I mostly avoid these Indian community events outside of India as I feel an air of superficiality there. I understand that the intention is to celebrate and connect to the roots, be in touch with our culture. But most of these people wouldn’t give a rat’s behind about the so-called ‘roots’ when they’re in india. The minute they land in India they totally go NRI-mode, complaining about water, pollution and traffic. But outside they become extra patriotic, force their kids to learn Hindustani/Carnatic music, Indian classical dances, teach them Indian ‘values’ (whatever it means). A lot of kids in my extended family grew up with this whole identity crisis. Worse, when these kids hit adolescence and get into the dating culture, the parents get super insecure about the kids choosing someone outside of their religion & caste. I know people who’ve even relocated to India because of this.
Sorry if I have digressed as I did not intend this to be rant, but it just somehow came out like that. Curious to know other perspectives on this, especially about the whole ‘identity’ thing with people who settled abroad.
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Sutheesh Kumar
February 16, 2018
Hi Anu,
Sorry about the late response. You have been all over the places geographically but your comments are always spot on. No wonder Kay Kay hails you as the Warrior.
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Anu Warrier
February 16, 2018
But most of these people wouldn’t give a rat’s behind about the so-called ‘roots’ when they’re in india. The minute they land in India they totally go NRI-mode, complaining about water, pollution and traffic. But outside they become extra patriotic, force their kids to learn Hindustani/Carnatic music, Indian classical dances, teach them Indian ‘values’ (whatever it means). A lot of kids in my extended family grew up with this whole identity crisis. Worse, when these kids hit adolescence and get into the dating culture, the parents get super insecure about the kids choosing someone outside of their religion & caste.
🙂 🙂 🙂
My pet rant regarding my BIL. Though I must confess that he’s not particularly Indian when he’s abroad either. In fact, he’s more French than the French. But yes, friends of ours with two daughters relocated to India when the older kid was 10. When I expostulated, she remarked that I wouldn’t understand – I have sons. (Well, yes. So?)
On the other hand, let me please present myself as a counter-example: we come to India every year. We travel by public transport – including the local trains in Bombay. I love my street food; I love to walk the streets. My kids eat whatever, wherever, and apart from a general look at hygeine, we have never bothered to stop them eating outside either. If I don’t get my annual India fix, I don’t think I could survive.
That said, while my younger son is taking vocal lessons, he’s not learning classical music (because he doesn’t want to). If he did, I would absolutely send him for lessons. We refused to send our kid to Bal Bharti because their idea of ‘Indian values’ weren’t ours. We are not very patriotic either, not in the sense that one has to be these days. My kids are not ‘confused’ desis. They are Americans of Indian parentage, for good or bad. I don’t see why I should make them ‘Indian’. (Which ‘Indian’, by the way? Because the Indian in India is different from the Indian in the US.) Both of them are extremely comfortable in India. They are comfortable here.
I love the land of my birth, dirt and all, flaws and all. I have no idea where my children will be when they find their path. But for myself and my husband, as Manna Dey sang, we hope Hum jahaan paida hue, Us jahaan mein nikle dam.
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Madan
February 16, 2018
What about Indians of (pseudo) American parentage? My earlier office was in a 20 storey building in which three floors were taken by this very fancy college called ISDI. When they happened to use the elevator,I couldn’t recognise the accents of those students as Indian English of any of its myriad sorts, not even like the neutral accents you hear on English news channels. And not a word of Hindi as far as I could tell. I sometimes wonder how do they get by when clearly a lot of the working class in Mumbai does not speak English. But they do, by whatever means. So let them be, I say. If they go abroad and remain staunchly Indian, their choice. If they grow up completely Westernised in India, their choice. Would I get along particularly well with either category? Not most of the time as I dislike both nationalism (at least of this sort) and superficial consumerist elitism. But that’s alright again. Takes all sorts to make up a planet.
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Vivek narain
February 16, 2018
A prodigy is recognised anywhere in the world even if his talents are of shady nature, so long as he is not tawdry with it. A defrocked jesuit is still a scholar of sacred words.
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sanjana
February 16, 2018
Each story is different. First generation to subsequent generations. It depends on how much we can accept and how much we miss. The question is whether they have accepted Indians fully and consider them mainstream? I am not talking about superficial gestures.
And fully amercanised kids. They are ready to mingle heart and soul and their parents have dilemmas. I am not talking about exceptions here.
Every second Indian wants to work or settle abroad. Whether it is Saudi, Dubai or advanced western countries.
The parents who return with kids still have their kids’ american passports intact so that they can go there whenever they want to. The children are educated at high end schools where they need not mix with the lower classes. Living in gated communities. Creating an exclusiveness for themselves and for their kids.
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Anamika
February 16, 2018
Aadhy – Doomed if we do, doomed if we don’t. I am an over enthusiastic traveler and love every place I visit. I miss India for its people, food and sarees 🙂 And when I go and display my spirit, relatives accuse me of being a typical NRI acting overtly desi while my children talk in their American accents. My husband on the other hand is the kind you dislike who judges the water, pollution and traffic. But he would do that as a non-NRI too. And there are tons of relatives of mine, forever in India, who constantly complain about the same water, pollution and traffic. For us NRIs, we seem to have lost the right to criticize simply because of the choice to live abroad and at some level I get the thought process but can’t say its fair.
The social life for us outside India, at least for me, has nothing to do with connecting to roots. Its simply fun and I get to dance and burn off the biryani somewhat. And like I mentioned in the last few lines of my post, familiarity and nostalgia is real.
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Bharathi Shevgoor
February 19, 2018
As a Mangalorean, I first saw social dancing at Catholic weddings and was the happiest to see older folks join the fun. The last two decades changed much and all taboos surrounding dancing went up in thin air, though we never dance at hindu weddings. But in Mehendis or Receptions, it’s now a norm.
When it comes to dancing for enjoyment in a group, I think the tapori numbers like Ek Do Teen, punjabi pop numbers like bolo tarara as also the fast ones like Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe from Dil Chata Hai all serve the purpose. We Mangaloreans are fortunate to have Konkani songs to dance to. It’s an add-on for which I’m grateful.
I’ve noticed that the moment English music comes on, most tend to lose interest. We ‘sit out’ the song or beats. Is it the combination of the lyrics and rhythm? or the sheer familiarity of it all? I’m not sure. But we like only what we know and can identify with. Even youngsters perk up the moment there are known songs playing.
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