Spoilers ahead…
Amit Ravindernath Sharma’s Badhaai Ho is the latest installment of the subgenre we’ve come to recognise as The Ayushmann Khurrana Film Where Sex Collides With Middle-class Mores™. Why aren’t more people talking about what this actor has accomplished with this subgenre? It’s one thing to educate the audience about toilets and menstruation — it’s icky, but it’s still about something we all do, and wouldn’t mind admitting to doing (even if the conversation results in a high squirm count). But the Khurrana films talk about sperm donation and erectile dysfunction, which fall on the thornier end of the taboo spectrum. “I couldn’t take a shit today” merely makes you a purveyor of TMI. “I couldn’t get it up today” reduces you to an object of pity or ridicule (or both). I’m not suggesting Ayushmann Khurrana is basically an A-rated Akshay Kumar. I’m just saying his films are doing something very necessary, without waving a flag at our face. It’s entertainment, perhaps even education — but without ennoblement. That’s a real win.
At first, in Badhaai Ho (written by Shanatanu Srivastava, Akshat Ghildial, Jyoti Kapoor), the predicament doesn’t seem to belong to the Ayushmann Khurrana character, a middle-class Delhi-ite named Nakul. He’s a railway ticket checker’s son, but he’s unembarrassed about it. He has moved onward, upward. He works in a white-collar environment and dates his super-rich colleague, Renee (Sanya Malhotra). In an earlier era, this class difference would have been enough to create the conflict in the narrative. But Renee’s wine-sipping mother (Sheeba Chaddha) likes Nakul — even if his family is a “circus she doesn’t want to buy tickets to.” Let’s take a minute here to recall Sheeba Chadda’s housewife character in Luck by Chance, and contrast that naivete with the sophistication on display here. It’s the proverbial A to Z. Whatever you think about Hindi cinema today, there’s no denying that this is a golden age for character actors.
So where’s the problem? It, um, rises one night when Nakul’s father, Jitendar (Gajraj Rao) begins to read out poetry to his wife Priyamvada (Neena Gupta). It begins to rain, and the camera — so far gazing at the couple on the bed — pans gently to the window, as though averting its eyes. It’s a more tasteful variant of the two kissing flowers in the sixties’ films. Badhaai Ho is tasteful, too. In the first scene, during a satsang, Priyamvada is seen with too much lipstick. I brushed it off as a bad makeup job, but we soon see that this woman likes her lipstick, much to the disapproval of Nakul’s Dadi (Surekha Sikri). Right there, the story’s seeds are sown. Is a fiftysomething middle-class bahu — with two sons (the second one is a teenager in school) — entitled to vanity? (It’s not something we’d ask about Renee’s mother.)
The trailer seemed to give away all plot points, that we are in for a series of embarrassments about Priyamvada’s pregnancy — but the embarrassments are actually around it. Priyamavada is red-faced, sure — but despite Neena Gupta’s warm and empathetic performance, she isn’t the focus. The society around her is. How does Dadi react to the Good News? (By guilt-tripping Jitendar and shaming Priyamvada as a lipstick-wearing temptress.) How do relatives at a wedding react? (The men bow to Jitendar’s virility, while the women chide Priyamvada for putting them in the position of having to explain all this to the in-laws.) How does Renee react? (With a shrug of her posh shoulders. After all, as she tells Nakul, wouldn’t they still be doing it when they reach their parents’ age?)
Renee’s mother reacts with surprising practicality, which the rest of the film glosses over. She wonders about the health risks that await Priyamvada, the financial strain that’s in store for Jitendar. But the film is really about Nakul’s reaction. When he receives the news, he’s mortified. The question on his mind is ostensibly “How could they?” but it’s really “How could they do this and not think about how much my friends will tease me and what it means to my own masculinity when my father is still the resident stud bull?” It’s the quintessential Ayushmann Khurrana Film problem. At one point he isn’t able to do it with Renee because he’s too busy fixating on his parents’ sex life. And the film becomes a light-hearted meditation on how we should respect the fact that older people have needs too, and why we shouldn’t put middle-aged women on a sexless pedestal: they may be middle-aged, but they’re women, too.
Badhaai Ho has a few… well, issues. The Nakul-Renee romance is taxingly generic, though I liked it that we’re spared the meet-cute and the courtship. This is a very focused narrative — their relationship is driven solely by Nakul’s mother’s pregnancy. In fact, each character is shaped by this pregnancy. Dadi may keep griping about Priyamvada, but she knows that her other daughters-in-law have done far worse than getting pregnant: they’ve all but abandoned her. Surekha Sikri nails both the acerbic and affectionate extremes of this crotchety character. And for Gajraj Rao, this is the character actor’s equivalent of a star-making role. Jitendar squirms with shame, unable to meet Nakul in the eye, but later, with just Priyamvada around, he sits in front of a mirror, trying to carve out a moustache. He’s the middle-class, middle-aged male we all know.
If there are no surprises from Ayushmann Khurrana, this is still an excellent collection of tics, starts and double takes. He probably has no peer today in the unique performance zone he occupies: part pantomime (he uses his body beautifully), part toned-down dramatics. He’s a light actor but not a lightweight actor. Even in the heavier scenes, he’s a bouyant presence. Badhaai Ho is similar: light but not lightweight. In the scene where Jitendar walks into their old doctor’s clinic to see what the problem is (Priyamvada has been complaining of aches and nausea), the doctor beams but the nurse just stares at him. The old man is like “Your swimmers are still strong, you dog!” The nurse, on the other hand, seems to be thinking about what Priyamvada is in for. Amidst the plentiful laughs, there’s plenty to think about.
Copyright ©2018 Baradwaj Rangan. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
Baradwaj Rangan 
Dracarys
October 22, 2018
New trademark. Guess this is the only one with the actor’s name in it!😂
LikeLike
Rocky
October 22, 2018
Line of the day- He’s a light actor but not a lightweight actor.
This line too should be Trademarked .
Aside: IMO no need for spoiler alert warning, the trailer pretty much tells it all.
LikeLike
anurag1700
October 22, 2018
Wow even you !! and I was hoping there would be one person (aka devil’s advocate) who could help me understand why i found this one boring like hell. But alas, all the critics seems to be smoking from the same pipe giving it all the high praises and ratings. For me honestly this is the most boring Ayushman khurana film with the most predictable, most unexciting experience. This is not to say the film is bad. It is just ok, it gets the job done and gets all character actors just right. But I donno the proceedings felt way way too light for me to even consider it as a good movie let alone a movie per se. I would have preferred may be just a one hr TV episode for this story to unfold the way it does. One could argue may be its the fact that this light or as u call it ‘still not a lightweight’ movie came at a time when its festive mood and I was expecting some explosion on the screen. But i dont think its that. If i had a gun to my head may be i would say the trailer gave everything, every crucial moment away and that made it worse for me when people in the hall pretended to laugh way too loud on the exactly same trailer moments when it was clearly audible as half-deliberate-half-eagerly-awaiting-for-any-joke-at-all-for-a-long-time one. Yes I am one of those people who felt they could have easily inserted a few more jokes there that could be better and punchier than the trailer moments. That makes me thing probably its the mix of melodrama and humor that didnt work for me- blame it on getting used the amount of jokes i witnessed in a bareilly ki barfi or a shubh mangal savdhaan, i pined for more humor and it never came. But more than just humor, more than the pregnancy, the film seemed more like about something else altogether, one of which for e.g. probably was just accepting genuine, good people and genuine good intentions for what they are and not how they are perceived or expected to be by others. For a lot of people this may be great add on effect or takeaway as this is a multifacet, diverse macro viewpoint the film portrays. But it made me feel worse because i felt they need not use the pregnancy angle of the story to show that. I donno but it could have come from other directions as well. I felt they deliberately connected the two parts. Once again, trust me i am not saying i was not moved. I myself had tears when that Granny scene came when she comes to her Daughter inlaw’s defence. I totally believed Neena as pregnant for real she was so good in every single face expression and body movement she was doing. But towards the end, it all felt too far fetched, the working moments too few and far in between, and the drama way too much travelled to drive a simple point home.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Komal
October 22, 2018
Just a little piece of info to share if you appreciate!!
The lady wasn’t a nurse in the clinic, she was a doctor too, and the male doctor’s wife 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
Anu Warrier
October 22, 2018
Loved, loved, loved this film! You’re spot on about the differences between how the men and women react.
And man, Gajraj Rao was fabulous – I loved the scene where he looks down from the balcony (after his brother has asked him to talk to his nephew) and the way his expression changes when he suddenly realises the reason why he’s asked to counsel a nephew he hardly knows. And then, a couple of scenes later, when his wife deflates his ego. 🙂
I also loved the little details – how he uses his staff to do his domestic duties; how he penny-pinches when it comes to giving tips; how he’s so silent when his mother picks on his wife…
And how great was Neena Gupta’s turn as the suddenly-pregnant wife who has to make a choice – and live with it.
Surekha Sikri, Sheeba Chaddha, Sanya Malhotra, and even the young boy who played the brother – they were all so good. Loved the scene where Sanya tells him that her mother was talking privately to her. Or the scene where Sanya tells him that if his idea of marriage was one where they talk only about their children’s grades, then count her out.
Ayushman Khurana has become the go-to person for topics such as these. I absolutely loved the way he code-switches – the Hindi he speaks to his parents is not the Hindi he speaks when he’s with Sanya, which is again different from the Haryanvi-accented Hindi with his friends. I cringed at the roasting – all leading up to the punchline that Mera baap hi kaafi hai – he gives his friend after he’s made peace with his parents’ decision but it was so in character.
I’m also glad he did Andhadhun for precisely the reason he stated – so he won’t be slotted into ‘small-town boy with big, embarrassing issues’ or as ‘the A-rated Akshay Kumar’ you described him as. Thankfully, his films – so far – haven’t been preachy on issues.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sanjeev
October 22, 2018
Your review is very different take on Badhai Ho!
Enjoyed it.
LikeLike
MANK
October 22, 2018
: light but not lightweight
Very well put. AK has definitely created a niche for himself. He has now back to back hits. Andhadhun and now this, within a span of weeks. A very rare achievement for an actor these days
LikeLiked by 1 person
sai16vicky
October 22, 2018
Anyone else reading the premise and reminded of Pavithram — the Mohanlal starrer from the 90s?
LikeLike
Josef
October 23, 2018
Suggest you watch Malayalam movie ‘Pavithram’ (Mohanlal) which tells the story of Old/Middle-aged couple becoming parents again but a dramatic take!
LikeLike
sanjana
October 23, 2018
One sunshine review from you!
LikeLike
Arjun
October 23, 2018
The Ayushman Khurana … genre TM hahaha! That cracked me up. In full agreement. He just might be the Amol Palekar of this generation. Has all the Delhi version makings.
LikeLike
ravenus1
October 23, 2018
There is little that feels new and much that appears contrived in this tale of a mother of significantly older children (Neena Gupta) discovering that she is pregnant again and deciding to go on with it against health and financial odds simply because she feels abortion is a sin. Her sons sulk till the specific moment they decide it’s all okay and go rah-rah-maa with a “baby shower”. The mother-in-law (Surekha Sikri) is such an archetype tyrant you know later she gets a speech in which she defends the bahu against a sneering samaj (which makes you want to slap her for not covering the DIL’s back earlier when her own grandsons turned theirs). Ayushmann Khurana plays one of the confused sons from his comfort zone, while Sanya Malhotra as his girlfriend is written as a walking cliche of contemporary liberal youth whose every glance and utterance is as meticulously designed as her couture and coiffure.
But I was hooked. It was mainly the performances that worked. Neena and Gajraj Singh look the part of a long-time middle-class couple and their interaction has a warmth that overcomes cliche (plus, she looks so lovely in those dilli-wale sweaters, makes me feel nostalgic about all those DD serials decades ago). And yes, I was blubbering into my hankie when cranky gran put down her khandaan for cocking their noses up at her sanskari paanv-bhari bahu.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
I somehow think he is all that is not right about Bollywood. He is this compromise that we are stuck with because he is charming, can sing, and writes songs. In Dum Laga Ke Haisha and Bareily ki Barfi his inabilities become far too conspicuous as he was surrounded by great acting talents (Not talking about Kriti here).
We need more actors like Nawazuddin, Pankaj tripathi, Rajkumar Rao, Rasika Duggal, Apte, Shashank Arora (Titli), Abhay Deol, Vicky Kaushal, and Kirti Kulhari. Less of people like Ayushman, Tapsee, Hrithik and their ilk. Not trying to disrespect them or their intentions, but I love cinema far too much to not express my misgivings with the status quo. The following is an interesting video i saw on acting on youtube – pertinent.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
Was talking about Ayushman Khurrana
LikeLike
MANK
October 24, 2018
Rajkumar Rao is a limited actor and so is Abhay deol. Just because they work in a different kind of cinema or even great cinema doesn’t make them all round great actors. They both play a certain type very well. Even nawazuddin has his own shtick, which is getting tiresome , even though he is undoubtedly a versatile and a great actor
And Hrithik does play a certain type very well. He is a star in the mold of a shammi Kapoor, Dev Anand etc, where the acting is more superficial and emphasis is on star charisma and trademark mannerisms keeping in tune with kind of hyperbolic movies they do. You can’t act in Dhoom2 or Bang Bang like you do in DevD or Newton and we need both kinds of films . The only trouble is when Hrithik tries to play the ‘Actor’ for which he has no talent for. Hrithik cannot play Newton or be in Lunchbox Just like Nawazuddin or rajkumar would be unfit for D2 or even Luck by chance, which is perhaps Hrithiks best performance
In that regard Ayushman is a very good commercial actor in his own niche. There is an effortless spontaneity to his performances, though not yet ready to dive into deep dramatic characters. And as he showed in Andhadhun, he can stand up to someone like Tabu, Now Tabu is the ultimate true blue star actor for me. the kind we need more of. A perfect mix of star charisma, versatility and dramatic depth. One is thank full for Andhadhun just for giving this acting diva an opportunity to shine again
LikeLiked by 7 people
An Jo
October 24, 2018
Back from BADHAI HO. Once, again, after STREE, what an over-hyped movie. Either I have become too demanding, or I have just lost it. I am ready to accept any verdict.
All I can say is it’s an average film and is absolutely not a must-visit to the cinema hall. It’s good in bits and pieces and not uniformly. Undoubtedly the writers are the true heroes of the movie but this is not at all a whole-some experience. The film falls flat on its face in the last 40 minutes or so and is a farce there-on. It is the actors, mainly Gajaraj Rao, Neena Gupta, and Sheeba Chaddha that brighten the screen. Surekha Sikhri is good but she’s done this umpteen times before. The Lodhi Colony middle-class milieu is well-captured.
I truly am not understanding the audience and critics going ga-ga over such films. Just being different from mill-of-the-road is not great.
And Ayushmaan is still stuck in MTV mode though he might utilize to a fair degree the Delhi/Haryanvi lingo to convince the audience. He stays in Lodhi colony but acts like a guy from Vasant Vihar.
Completely disappointed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
Tabu sure is a great actor, I was talking about the new crop, here. I really do not comprehend terms such as “commercial” or “star”, to me these variables are not part of the cinema that I have grown to love and be passionate of.
Is charisma an important aspect of an actor’s paraphernalia, of course yes, but I feel Rajkumar Rao or Nawazuddin are charismatic, in their own way. The yesteryear actor Shobha was a great actor and oozed a certain charisma but it was surely different from the kind of charisma that Sridevi had. You can’t compare them. There are other actors I did not mention Dhanush, Kishore, Ritwik Chakraborthy (Shabdita), Parvathy, Kalki, Farhad and to an extent Dulqer (after Kammatipaadam and the world of Shiva from Solo).
LikeLike
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
Its not Shabdita, it is Shabdo
LikeLike
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
Geetanjali Thapa surprised me, pleasantly, in I.D., and Kuch Bheege Alfaz, and to an extent even in Liar’s dice. I can really go on and on about the good actors, we have, but need to say why I feel they are good.
Every shot, in which the actor is part of the mise en scène, traditionally speaking he/ she should be aware of his motivations. In other words when he/ she is on frame, instead of going by a said emotion, they should be able to externalise for the camera an emotive response that has distilled through the deep trenches of one’s subconscious.
This is how very personal moments are made public. Stanislavski’s system and its development the method strive to get this sincere emotive experience out. Ultimately when people practice such methods I feel they don’t just do justice to a shot they traverse a character arc well. I feel some good actors who don’t use any methods, like Mohan Lal, still find ways to externalise sincere emotive responses to a given motivation – in front of the camera.
These actors I have mentioned constantly seem to fulfil this externalisation of a sincere emotive experience and ultimately end up traversing their character arc well and fulfilling the character’s aim/ destiny ( all appears organic). These emotive experiences and the characters they build are worth their weight in gold.
We need good actors irrespective of the genre. Even if you have a role where minimal acting is required, only a good actor will know how much minimal is minimal enough.
I love din dhal jaye – rafi’s voice, even the cinematography was not bad, but I couldn’t put up with Dev Aanand’s acting. Similarly love Jawaniyan ye mast bin piye – occasionally have it on the loop while driving, but I couldn’t really put up with the acting.
LikeLike
Ruminating Aesthete
October 24, 2018
Fahad not Farhad. Sorry about spelling errors seem to crop up way too frequently
LikeLike
rnjbond
October 25, 2018
Really enjoyed this movie — Ayushmann was fantastic as we’ve come to expect. I think you really nailed his role as becoming an edgier Akshay Kumar (the Padman half, not the Airlift half) between this, Vicky Donor, Shubh Mangal Savdhaan, and even Dum Laga Ke Haisha. Plus you make a very good point about character actors being standouts and the more I think about it, the more I agree with you. Ayushmann’s mom, dad, and dadi were all very memorable in their roles. I think back to Pankaj Tripathi in Stree, Zakir Hussain in Andhadhun, or Angad Bedi in Soorma… performances that stood out in spite of not being one of the leads.
If I have a complaint, it’s with the romance angle. Partly because Sanya Malhotra wasn’t very good here (which is a surprise because I thought she was solid in Dangal). But also partly with Renee’s mother. I know it’s just a movie, but I didn’t like that Ayushmann had to apologize to her for getting upset that she was trashing his family behind his back and yet, the mother just sat there silently and never apologized herself. Perhaps I’ve met too many of these aunties that are so full of themselves and borderline refuse to speak Hindi because it’s beneath them.
LikeLike
Maddy
October 26, 2018
With all due respect Baradwaj Rangan, it’s hilarious to see a self-loathing ageist like you support a film that attempts to smash ageism.
LikeLike
Akshay
October 26, 2018
More than a film about a bunch of people coming to terms with a middle-aged woman’s pregnancy, this film, for me, was about how being progressive is a continuous process and not the end. People are the products of their time; their perspectives shaped by innumerable factors. But to detach oneself from constricting prejudices and allow space for new thoughts is as much about choice as anything else. Some make that choice without ado. Most people, however, dither.
In that way, Renee’s mother (all high tastes and high society talk) is no different from Daadi (acerbic and archaic to bone). Both admonish the pregnant woman, and back it up with sensible arguments. So do the boys, who, naturally, worry about what friends and neighbors say and think about them. Here, then, is the conflict. Nobody’s wrong. There’s nothing wrong in what they say; and there’s nothing wrong in what the woman wants.
But it is not for them to decide her fate. The choice lies with Priyamvada. In what might seem a tad easy, she’s the one who is unfazed, who is clean of conscience, without guilt or doubt clouding her thoughts. She wants to have the baby. Period. From then on, unassuming yet strong, she is the pivot about whom the film turns: her anxiety for her son becomes ours, her distress makes us sad, her triumph becomes ours to celebrate. We buy this more because of Neena Gupta’s solid performance than the writing itself; but such willful women who go about their brave businesses without a fuzz do exist – and we know it.
Slowly but surely one character after another comes to accept her choice. Progress, like maturity, is not something that comes naturally with age. What it needs, however, is time and the willingness to see through our prejudices – but, most important, strong women who can stay that way for as long as it takes.
PS: How much has Ayushmann Khurrana got to do with the film’s impact? What threads does he pull; does he have any threads in the first place? Or is he playing — again — that arrogant guy who is irked at the very people who make him see right at the end?
LikeLiked by 4 people
Anu Warrier
October 26, 2018
Akshay, fabulous comment – especially about the women in the story.
BR – Rajeev Masand has a great interview with Surekha Sikri. May I link it here?
LikeLike
srktugga
October 27, 2018
This movie reminded me of Anjali (which was in a more sensitive tone) in the sense that the children accept the family situation and protect their family against all social stigma.
LikeLike
Rocky
October 29, 2018
I Like BR’s and Anu Warrier’s read of the film and the scenes that they have mentioned are exactly the scenes that stood out for me .( trying to carve out a moustache, deflating ego by Neena Gupta, penny pinching on tips, using sarkari karamchari to help in domestic chores etc. )
The Dadi’s outburst towards the end was so well staged and performed that I almost had tears in my eyes.The bonding between the brothers, between daughter-mom were all good.
Overall this is a film for everyone and I have already recommended several people to watch it.
AnJo bhai samajh nahee aaya why you did not like the movie.
LikeLike
An Jo
October 31, 2018
Not that I did not like the film Rocky. I found it over-hyped. I can write more on it but really condensed it what I felt above. It’s all authentic Dilli middle-class and all and writing is above-average. But it falls inbetween good and great and I don’t understand critics and audiences going ga-ga over it and the blasphemy of comparing a one-note actor like Khuranna to someone like Palekar: Conceptually, as the equivalent of Rakesh Roshans and Palekar of yore is fine, but the comparison stops at that. One has to see Palekar’s Marathi films to understand his range and repertoire. Just acting in low-budget movies doesn’t a Palekar make.
Anuway, it’s one of the better films out there. But it could have been still better. And HINDI MEDIUM is a far, far better movie than this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Rocky
October 31, 2018
AnJo- I thought Hindi Medium was a bit overrated . and a bit unrealistic , taking too many liberties with the reality on the ground.
Badhai Ho , OTOH is very realistic and has a nice mix of comedy and emotions. Ayushman jaisa bhee actor ho, but he at least gets a good movie made.
In my own family , my bua’s sons are as old as my dad.
BTW -I did not know till yesterday that the brother in Dangal ( Tau jee’s son) is actually Ayushman’s younger brother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rocky
October 31, 2018
BTW , AnJo the tickets for TOH have been booked @ IMAX for Thursday night .
Can’t wait,,,,
LikeLiked by 1 person
TambiDude
October 31, 2018
Rocky you are watching Aamir’s movie!!!. He is in my block list since PK.
LikeLike
Rocky
November 1, 2018
Ha Ha, Tambi I did not find PK offensive, mainly because IMO the intentions of Raju, Abhijaat and Aamir were not that of Urban Naxals .
Aamir is the same guy who did Sarfarosh .
Aside- waisey bhee more than Aamir, TOH is for Bachchan Sahab.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 1, 2018
He is the same a***hole who claimed about talking about “rising intolerance” with his second wife sunita rao. And India being a 3rd rate country, allowed that comment to become aheadline as if some known intellect has spoken.
Laanat on those who watch his movies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Srinivas R
November 2, 2018
@Tambi – he only talked about rising intolerance and nothing about India being a third rated country, unless you read it in opindia, swaraj or post.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 2, 2018
LOL. Is low reading ability a new requirement to be a liberal. Re-read what I wrote.
“And India being a 3rd rate country, allowed that comment to become a headline as if some known intellect has spoken.”
How can it mean that I am indicating Amir mentioned it. Why would he mention his own comment as ‘that comment’.
It is clear that I am writing my feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
sanjana
November 2, 2018
Tambi is referring to some Amir not Aamir. So its ok.
By the way I am a big fan of Aamir not Amir. He may have his shortcomings including physical ones but he is a tall person in terms of his biggest hits, contribution to Paani foundation and being open about his weaknesses. Being a sensitive person he might have reacted to certain things and that does not make him anti national. Even hindus say such things in the heat of the moment. Why so many hindus are waiting to settle in America? And why they never want to get rid of that country’s citizenship and come back? Aamir Khan did not leave the country in a huff but working hard to produce films and participate in social activities. And he has learnt to swim with his detractors because he loves his country and its people. While Salman and SRK have more muslim fans, Aamir has neutral fans from all communities and relatively less from his own community.
LikeLike
sanjana
November 2, 2018
It is amusing to see those hindus sticking like leeches to their american dreams inspite of being kicked by Trump left, right and centre on a daily basis. This shows how much love and dedication they are having for their mother country!
LikeLike
An Jo
November 2, 2018
Yes Rocky in Hindi Medium the Dobriyal character was made too-goody-goody and Irrfan was not that convincing in the climax when he vents. It needed not just an actor, but a star-actor.
Haven’t booked TICKETS for TOH yet. Will do soon. Watching it, of course, mainly — hell, only — for AB, though I love Aamir too! Been ages having seen AB in this avatar, and it’s thrilling to say the least..
If Acharya wants to be remembered in history, this is his chance. If he fails — frankly, I am very skeptical with him around — he will also be remembered, for getting two mega-stars together and delivering a turkey!! Hope he succeeds…
By the way, I am not seeing any imaxes in Illinois for TOH, where you watching? I can’t find one in the DC area too..
LikeLike
sanjana
November 2, 2018
Tambi is referring to some Amir not Aamir. So its ok.
By the way I am a big fan of Aamir not Amir. He may have his shortcomings including physical ones but he is a tall person in terms of his biggest hits, contribution to Paani foundation and being open about his weaknesses. Being a sensitive person he might have reacted to certain things and that does not make him anti national. Even hindus say such things in the heat of the moment. Why so many hindus are waiting to settle in America? And why they never want to get rid of that country’s citizenship and come back? Aamir Khan did not leave the country in a huff but working hard to produce films and participate in social activities. And he has learnt to swim with his detractors because he loves his country and its people. While Salman and SRK have more muslim fans, Aamir has neutral fans from all communities and relatively less from his own community.
LikeLike
Srinivas R
November 2, 2018
@Tambi – My bad. So Aamir talking about rising intolerance makes you swear off his movies, but you referring on India as third rate country is all fair game? just asking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rocky
November 2, 2018
Re.-By the way, I am not seeing any imaxes in Illinois for TOH, where you watching?
AMC -24 , Barrington for One.
LikeLike
Rocky
November 2, 2018
Tambi- Aamir made that comment under the influence of his commie wife Kiran, quickly realized his mistake , apologized and has not uttered a word after that.
Aside: 100 galtee toh Bhagwan Krishan jee ney bhee allow kee thee..his was just one.
LikeLike
Apu
November 4, 2018
Srinivas R: “@Tambi – My bad. So Aamir talking about rising intolerance makes you swear off his movies, but you referring on India as third rate country is all fair game? just asking.”
Sanjana:”It is amusing to see those hindus sticking like leeches to their american dreams inspite of being kicked by Trump left, right and centre on a daily basis. ”
LikeLiked by 1 person
TambiDude
November 4, 2018
Rocky: Do you have a link which claims Aamir apologized his intolerance remark. I must have missed it. If he has indeed apologized, then all forgiven and we can move on.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 4, 2018
Apu: The NRIs who left India blamed Aamir for commenting about India and saying that he was thinking about leaving the country.
Two things: We did not say that india has become intolerant after Cong rule ended.
@srinivas: Poor logic. I am not pointing out to one particular party or era to say India is a 3rd rate country. Aamir explicitly was pointing out to BJP era.
It is like a tamil telling an andhra person “all indians are lazy” vs telling “I think gults are lazy”. Which one you think would provoke the gult.
LikeLiked by 1 person
TambiDude
November 4, 2018
That said, my comment was intemperate. Sorry.
LikeLike
sanjana
November 4, 2018
Aamir was invited to speak and he foolishly brought his bedroom conversation into the open and unwittingly made Kiran Rao, the hate object, overnight along with him. And the then defence minister was happy that aamir was taught a lesson when snapdeal boycott happened. And other ministers started taking digs at him. Now he stopped talking about political issues. Did he stop thinking also?
Bachchan also faced these things during Bofors controversy and one political party taking offence when Jaya Bachchan talked about hindi language.
And some militant sikhs still has a grouse against him.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/1984-riots-Why-nobody-noticed-Amitabh-Bachchan-spewing-venom-in-India/articleshow/10429011.cms
http://www.rediff.com/movies/2008/sep/09jaya.htm
Did he also stop thinking ?
Politics is a whirlpool and anybody can be caught in it.
LikeLike
sanjana
November 4, 2018
He unwittingly made Kiran Rao along with him the hate objects of lakhs of BJP workers overnight.
LikeLike
Madan
November 4, 2018
“I am a Hindu NRI but I totally agree with you. The NRIs who left India blamed Aamir for commenting about India and saying that he was thinking about leaving the country.” – Incidentally, I remember a sports journalism bigshot I am acquainted with telling me that India has no future and he was sending his son to Australia. And he was a big supporter of Modi. Hedging his bets, much? But yeah, Illinois deshbhakts, man, they take the cake. Safely nestled in an island of blue while egging on majoritarian forces in the fatherland, sorry, motherland.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 4, 2018
“But yeah, Illinois deshbhakts, man, they take the cake. Safely nestled in an island of blue while egging on majoritarian forces in the fatherland, sorry, motherland.”
And who is this different from liberals living in India commenting on Trump and what has changed in US since Nov 9 2016. Seems like they want to impose their ideas, which is being questioned even in a poor and backward country like India.
While we are at it, is it ok for NRI indians to express liberal values.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Madan
November 4, 2018
“And who is this different from liberals living in India commenting on Trump” – It is at least different to the extent that such liberals would not be inconsistent in their stand. If you support a party that stands up for minorities in the country where you live and supports another that rides an anti minority plank, then yes you are as hypocritical as they come.
“is it ok for NRI indians to express liberal values.” – Be liberal/conservative in both contexts is what I am saying. One of my uncles living in Calif proudly declared himself to be a registered member of the Republican Party. Don’t know what he makes of Trump since I haven’t touched base, but I do know that he pooh poohed Modi even before he became PM. Not because he was a Congressi in India, if I am using the correct word, but because he had a Bobby Jindal-like disdain for India. I can actually level with that as opposed to the Modi Democrats (more curious a phenomenon than Reagan Democrats, if you will) because at least his ideas are consistent and predictable.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 4, 2018
“If you support a party that stands up for minorities in the country where you live and supports another that rides an anti minority plank, then yes you are as hypocritical as they come.’
No it is called horses for the courses. That one ideology fits all society is a classic smartness of the liberals, whatever their level of IQ is. let me give an example. In US society criticizing any religion is fine, because the reaction is going to be muted. The society has moved beyond taking umbrage for religious statements.
In a poor, low educated and backward country like India, where religion is an anchor for many, allowing the same level of freedom to abuse religions may cause social unrest. I am fine if India bans criticism of all religion. The keyword is “all”.
Hopefully one day India becomes as developed as US then we can revisit this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Swati
November 5, 2018
Rocky, what do you think of Saif and “taimur”. Is that mistake maaf too?!?!
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 5, 2018
Madan: If and when India practices same secularism as practiced in the USA, we can revisit your claim of hypocrisy.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 5, 2018
Sanjana: “He unwittingly made Kiran Rao along with him the hate objects of lakhs of BJP workers overnight.”
Not sure about unwitting part. AK has a prior history about making idiot controversial remarks as if he is some intellect. Go back to 2005 during the release of Mangal Pandey. He said
“I saw close parallels between Mangal Pandey and today’s time. At that time, the East India Company came to India and took over. They began destroying our country economically and enforcing their social views on us. They said they were doing us a favour. Today, America is doing the same to Iraq and Afghanistan. They say they are solving the problems of Iraqis and Afghans, but the fact is they are actually stealing.”
He was soundly criticized by all as a clueless idiot. But since India was in ram-raajya at that time and there was no FB or Twitter either, it did not degenerate into pidis vs bhakts type of silly war.
There is no question that AK makes wonderful movies. But he is one irritating idiot when he opens his mouth pretending to be an intellect.
LikeLike
Madan
November 5, 2018
Ah,yet again the low I trot. I do wonder if conservatives are so smart, why do they trot out the same tropes uniformly? Nice dodge but you haven’t really answered it. The reasons why you need the protective umbrella of the Democratic Party in USA are similar to the reasons why minorities need other parties in India. But you don’t care because you are a Hindu. Oh yes, that’s it deep down. Who cares if a few ‘cow thieves’ are hacked to death, that’s just ‘collateral damage’, a price to be paid if India has to once again be a country where 80% Hindus can feel protected from 19% Muslims. The same forces have already visited your country, so good luck.
LikeLike
Madan
November 5, 2018
low IQ trope
LikeLike
Swati
November 5, 2018
“In US society criticizing any religion is fine, because the reaction is going to be muted. The society has moved beyond taking umbrage for religious statements.”
I beg to differ. US is 95% christian and try to say one thing christian critical viewpoint and see what happens. All these “liberals” NRIs on this blog, they cannot dare to speak one word that is christian critical in USA, unless they are willing to pack their bags and go back from where they came from. Where as sitting in USA, it is very fashionable for these same hypocritical and deeply frustrated people to bash up the majority religion and people, in their home country, the majority which in fact are peace loving, pacifist and get F#$%ed for 5K years by invaders, british and khangress and now by their own people, these same pseudos. This wonderful wonder can happen only in India!! No where else!
LikeLike
Swati
November 5, 2018
@Tambidude: you have prerogative to spend your hard earned money on not spending it on watching any of his movies, for any reason. That is your right. No need to keep saying “sorry”. It is like a vote. Whether it counts or not, you have right to vote for whoever you please to vote or not vote. ToH, I will avoid because the trailer was meh. They hype up the movie and charge huge amounts of money. I would rather spend it on a Dinner or something else more entertaining. It will be on netflix in few weeks, so I will wait.
LikeLike
sanjana
November 5, 2018
He is a big Salman Khan fan and he does not mind a good film by other actors except when it is something like Raazi or Udta Punjab.
What about our Kamal and his politics? Or Rajni and Vijay? Do people dont watch their films out of political convictions?
I am a big fan of both NTR and ANR films and the former’s politics does not bother me.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 5, 2018
Madan: Is the minority situation (as far as Indians is considered) is even comparable. Is there a case of one state in US where the minorities have ethnically cleansed the majority. Is there one state in US where minorities from neighboring states have come illegally and using force asked the majority to leave the village. Is there one minority in USA which can claim their divine right to marry four times.
In US there is something call rule of the law. India lacks it as of now. The esteemed minorities in India does not even want uniform civili law.
LikeLike
Madan
November 5, 2018
Tambidude: With reference only to the four wives point, a school friend of mine (a Chettiar) got screwed because her husband was already married. Are you telling me you’ve never heard of Hindus, esp in Tamil community itself, who have more than one wife? As you rightly observe, India has no rule of law and this cuts both ways. You just feel threatened when the minority takes the law into their hands while ignoring 1984 or 2002 because it doesn’t affect you. Which has no bearing by the way on why you should not feel comfortable with the GOP in a country that you say has rule of law. A rule of law that failed to shield Jews worshipping at their synagogue.
By the by, I am not against BJP itself per se and understand the need to have at least two strong national parties to that one party rule. It is the Modi cult that I am much more concerned about. It is as dangerous as the Indira cult and just because Congress ‘enjoyed’ the opportunity to impose said cult on India back then doesn’t mean BJP deserves its own chance now to impose a dangerous personality cult because it’s the people who suffer at the end of the day.
LikeLike
TambiDude
November 5, 2018
Madan: Of course there are Hindus in India or Americans in USA who break law by indulging in polygamy. The difference is, they are breaking the law. With Indian muslims law is in their side.
“You just feel threatened when the minority takes the law into their hands while ignoring 1984 or 2002 because it doesn’t affect you. ”
Of course not.
While we are in the topic of ‘minorities’, keep in mind it is a plural word. I don’t write against Christians, Jains, Sikhs, Parsees. They too are part of ‘minorities’.
“By the by, I am not against BJP itself per se and understand the need to have at least two strong national parties to that one party rule. It is the Modi cult that I am much more concerned about. It is as dangerous as the Indira cult and just because Congress ‘enjoyed’ the opportunity to impose said cult on India back then doesn’t mean BJP deserves its own chance now to impose a dangerous personality cult because it’s the people who suffer at the end of the day.”
How is it any different from me telling that I want Cong to be a credible alternative to BJP and for that they need to wipe out Nehru family and reboot themselves. The current Cong party is pits.
“Which has no bearing by the way on why you should not feel comfortable with the GOP in a country that you say has rule of law. A rule of law that failed to shield Jews worshipping at their synagogue.”
Yeah like Dems failed to save Christians in Charlestown. Or Sikhs some 6/7 yrs ago.
LikeLike
Rocky
November 5, 2018
wow…..you bloody USA wala, Stories of my Uncle,my Driver, my Maid, my Newspaper wala , uneducated Indoo ..everything being thrown around here !! aur kuch ???
Lagey Raho, Badhai Ho !!!!!
P.S.- a song a day keeps all Indoos away !!
Arrey bas bhee kar Suraiyya
Rab sey Dar Suraiyya
Saari Zaydaad Aur Mehakame
Likh diye inhone tere hakk mai
In thagon sey, in thagon sey, in thagon sey
Ab tu Hindostan legi kya?????????????
LikeLike
Madan
November 5, 2018
“The difference is, they are breaking the law. With Indian muslims law is in their side.” – What difference does it make when the Hindus who do so aren’t convicted for it? You said earlier that there is no rule of law in India. That was a honest position so now don’t backpedal when it doesn’t suit you.
“. I don’t write against Christians, Jains, Sikhs, Parsees. They too are part of ‘minorities’.” – You don’t but the right does already against Christians. So be mindful of the forces you support. That you do not support everything you do is not going to stop them from doing it anyway.
“How is it any different from me telling that I want Cong to be a credible alternative to BJP and for that they need to wipe out Nehru family and reboot themselves. ” – It is different because the BJP is the ruling party now, with a brute majority at that. Gadkari said on a TV programme that the BJP is an opposition party by character. It seems to apply to their supporters too. You’re still living in a world where opposing Congress is the imperative. It’s over. Congress is all but dead. Now we have the phenomenon of Modi growing way too big a personality for India.
“Yeah like Dems failed to save Christians in Charlestown. Or Sikhs some 6/7 yrs ago.” – Yeah, so? Doesn’t contradict what I said. I said your rule of law distinction between USA and India doesn’t ring true, not as much as you’d wish it to be.
LikeLike
knee
November 9, 2018
I loved the movie a lot but a few scenes made me queasy. One is Priyamvada’s anti-abortion stance, which she calls sin, is conveying of the character’s conservativeness, a quality that is not seen in Gajraj’s character. Even everyone around the couple seems to have a problem with them having indulged in physical intimacy at such a ripe age rather than them becoming parents. So somewhere it becomes about sex and not the baby and yet noone else asks Priyamvada about abortion. Second is the depiction of the effeminate, possibly homosexual, nephew and making the connection between virility and homosexuality, which I felt was ridiculous. Does anyone have thoughts about this?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Rahul
December 19, 2018
Just saw this . Others have commented on other aspects so I will stick to my grouse with this movie . The way the behavior of the two elderly ladies, Sheeba Chaddha and Surekha Sikri has been normalized was baffling and irritating to me , though both are splendid actresses and they made their roles believable.
The theme of the movie was to see the elders as humans and not put them on a pedestal.
Surekha Sikri’s 24 x 7 bickering has been whitewashed by her 2 mins of kindness. Sheeba Chaddha’s blatantly classist remarks were whitewashed by Ayushman’s apology. If we are taking the view that these guys are old and its okay for them to behave in this way then I think its patronizing, and bad writing in a film like this.
But other than that I liked the movie.
LikeLike
Anu Warrier
December 20, 2018
Just came back to this thread, so am sharing a couple of thoughts.
@knee – I too hated the virility/homosexuality thread, but I didn’t think the movie endorsed it as much as that in that milieu of machoism, effeminacy is a disgrace. About abortion – the doctor does tell them to decide what they want to do. There’s an implied suggestion of abortion in the lady doctor telling the couple that whatever they decide they must do it fast. Who else would talk about it to them?
I can see how Priyam might think it a sin. Gajaraj’s character not so much – he’s progressive enough to say it’s her choice. She’s of the mind that it was an unpleasant surprise but now she’s pregnant, she was going to keep the baby. He’s of the mind that it is an unpleasant surprise, and apart from what people will say, it’s also a question of responsibility. I found that pretty refreshing.
@Rahul – I didn’t think either lady was ‘normalised’. You just know that Daadi will continue to bicker 24/7. Her acerbity isn’t going to go away with that 2 minutes of kindness. But those two minutes show Priyam that her efforts over the years haven’t gone in vain.
Sheeba Chaddha wasn’t that blatantly classist – if she was, then her daughter would never have been allowed to date Nakul. Her angst comes from the news of the baby; and the fact that Nakul might have to take responsibility. As far as Nakul is concerned, she has never been anything other than polite to him. As Sanya’s character points out, it was a private conversation between mother and daughter that was overheard. And Nakul’s apology is for his rudeness to her; as Priyam points out, how would Nakul have reacted if Sanya had been rude to her?
At least to me, it wasn’t either glorification or normalisation; just a mirror held up to the biases that perfectly decent people may not even know they have. And if she was classist, she wouldn’t tell Sanya about Nakul’s apology or encourage her to go back to Nakul. No?
Similarly, Nakul is a bit of a jerk himself, right? Witness the scene where he tells his friend/enemy that if he can’t propagate his genes, then perhaps he should send his wife to Nakul? Or even to his father? That made me cringe. Yet, Nakul is not an out-and-out idiot. But that ingrained misogyny is part of that character.
This is just my reading of that film – that they are all relatively decent, but flawed – I’m not saying that is the only right way to read it.
LikeLike
Rahul
December 20, 2018
@Anu Warrier , i said the remarks of Renee’s mom were blatantly classist – and this is what she said
“his family is a circus that i dont want to buy tickets to.
Its so jaahil
Can u imagine hamare type ki family me aisa kabhi hota ho ?”
I think this is blatant and textbook classism.
All Renee said was a gentle – “Mom, you are being too harsh! ”
Renee did not even say she was wrong and she should not talk like that.
What else could we expect Nakul to have done in this situation ? I am still puzzled what he was made to apologize for. . And the question that how Nakul would have felt if Renee had talked like that to his mom is a straw man. It was not Nakul’s mom that had made classist remarks.
Regarding the daadi situation , we come out of the movie thinking daadi is a foul talker but has a heart of gold. If daadi is such a nice woman who realizes what Priyam has done for her, why did she harass Priyam all the time?
If they really wanted to redeem the daadi character, it should not have been by making her a hero who stood up for Priyam, it should have been by realizing she was wrong, and by repenting and apologizing to Priyam.
LikeLike
Anu Warrier
December 20, 2018
Rahul, I’m not disagreeing with the issue that Renee’s mom has that attitude. The fact is that despite that attitude, she isn’t stopping her daughter from dating Nakul. In fact, in the end, it is she who tells Renee to go to Nakul.
There is an economic class difference between the two and Renee is not blind to it. However, she doesn’t care. Her mother sees it differently. She says so, in a private conversation with her daughter. Have you never disagreed with your parents yet been relatively low-key in that disagreement because you love them? To me, that’s where Renee’s character comes through – there’s no indication that she was going to leave Nakul whatever her mother thought.
Nakul, too, is right to be angry over that overheard conversation. After all, it’s his family she’s insulting. Renee breaks up with Nakul because he cannot divorce her from her mother. And he refuses to see her side of the story, even after Renee says her mother is wrong.
Priyam asks Nakul to apologise because – and here’s the crux of that scene – he shouldn’t have talked that way to an older person, no matter what the provocation. This is text book ‘middle-classiyath’. I can just hear my mother saying that to me.
And the question that how Nakul would have felt if Renee had talked like that to his mom is a straw man.
I didn’t pose that question. Nakul’s mother did. 🙂 She’s not saying that what Renee’s mother said was right; she’s saying Renee was not wrong in being angry with Nakul for berating her mother. And is trying to get Nakul to put himself in Renee’s shoes. How would he have felt if Renee had talked that way to Priyamvada?
Re: Daadi. People are rather complex, don’t you think? For me, it is not so much that they wanted to redeem the daadi, as much as they wanted to show that people can be contradictory. FWIW, my late MIL was pretty much like daadi, and in a more cruel way. Yet, she too recognised that she could depend on me to care for her. That didn’t stop her from picking on everything I did. And I wager Daadi isn’t going to stay all nice and sugar-sweet forever. She will still be picking on Priyamvada once she comes home with the baby. That doesn’t mean that she isn’t aware of how much Priyam does for her, either.
I don’t think either woman was being ‘redeemed’. We were being shown them, warts and all. , None of them – men or women – are good through and through, except perhaps Priyam and Renee.
Jitendar is a penny-pinching nut who takes advantage of his juniors. He’s also a rather spineless man who cannot stand up for his wife. His only saving grace is that he loves her deeply and she knows it. Nakul is a misogynistic jerk who can only think of himself. But there’s a deep affection for his family and for Renee though he tries hard to hide it. Renee’s mother is an upper-class woman with all the standard biases about those who are ‘not like us’. But she’s also a mother who loves her daughter and wants her to be happy.
Again, not arguing with you. 🙂 Just saying I have known people like this, some of them in my own family. The whole ethos rang true to me – milieu, characters, their motivations, et al.
LikeLike
Rahul
December 21, 2018
@Anu Warrier
“The fact is that despite that attitude, she isn’t stopping her daughter from dating Nakul.”
She is not doing any ehsaan . She agreed to the marriage only after Nakul apologized. If she had any decency she could have admitted that she was in the wrong , when Nakul was apologizing to her. My guess is she thinks she is right in her views, and she likes Nakul inspite of his social status. That does not make her less of a classist.
“And he refuses to see her side of the story, even after Renee says her mother is wrong.”
When did this happen ? I may have missed this.
“Just saying I have known people like this, some of them in my own family.”
My family too. I am not saying they do not exist, but just that the film leaves these issues unresolved. Or perhaps the director does not consider that the classism of Reneeès mom and crabbiness of dadi are issues worth addressing.
LikeLike
Anu Warrier
December 22, 2018
No, she’s not doing any ehsaan. And I don’t think her approval/disapproval of the marriage had anything to do with it. I don’t recall Renee asking her mom for approval. She breaks up with Nakul because he isn’t willing to listen to her when she apologises for her mother, and then continues to berate/insult Sheeba.
In any case, I’m not arguing that Sheeba was a nice person. She is what she is – a product of her upbringing. Where her innate decency comes through is when she realises her daughter is really unhappy, and Nakul’s apology makes her understand that he is not a bad sort either. She needn’t have told Renee that Nakul apologised. Or encouraged her to go visit Nakul.
In any case, I don’t think the film set out to resolve any issue. Sheeba will continue to have a faint whiff of ‘hamare jaise log‘; Jeetender will continue to abuse his position in little ways and pinch pennies and be spineless; Daadi’s acerbic tongue will continue to whiplash Priyam; Nakul’s toxic masculinity will continue to flourish, albeit controlled by Renee’s gentle mocking, etc.
At least to me, the director was just holding a mirror to these characters – complex, contradictory characters, who are bound by ties of duty/affection. In short, most families. 🙂
Thanks for the discussion. It made me think a little more about the characters and their motivations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Madan
February 24, 2019
Finally watched this. Wonderful film. I agree that AK is a limited actor but then, nobody is stopping the others from playing the same niche, right? I guess for him, playing a Dilliwala is akin to playing himself and he can do it in his sleep. So even if the shtick is predictable, it’s very authentic. And here, as in Vicky Donor, he is surrounded by a strong cast.
Regarding Renee’s behaviour during Nakul’s outburst, there is a reason why she behaves like this and dumps Nakul even though his only fault is having eavesdropped on their convo (big whop as he says). It is because she too is blinded by love for her mother. She earlier told Nakul his problem is like typical Indian men, he idolizes his mother and can’t handle it now that she’s pregnant. But the truth is she is no different; she just doesn’t know this about herself yet. That whole passage is all about holding a mirror to Renee and she does not acquit herself well personally nor does her mother who couches her deep seated conservative objections in words like financial burden. Renee does not HAVE to do what would ideally be the right thing in such a situation because she is a flawed character, like the others in the movie. They all make mistakes and mess up and live and learn (for instance, Nakul’s father need not have to be so timid and non confrontational but this is how a lot of Indian men would behave in his situation too, trying to smooth over the problems rather than taking them on). It is also obvious from the class difference between the two lovers that he would have to be the one to make up. She won’t. But this is also why Nakul directly approaches Renee’s mother to tender his apology. He never actually says sorry to Renee- though he conveys his intent to do so to Renee’s mother – unless I missed something. It’s more of a let bygones be bygones approach and Renee is unofficially welcomed into the family; any mutual apologies are, then, implied rather than verbalised.
LikeLike
Abinaya
August 12, 2019
I just have one thing bugging me from ur review….how CLD U call her a nurse wen she is clearly a doctor…. It is like men who wear coats ( thought they can b a ward boy / lab assistant ) are called doctors and women though they clearly wear a coat and stethoscope are called nurses….wat kind of judgement is thr…being a medico in a govt hospital we girls always face this….but we let it go as most patients are illiterate or not so good thinkers….but it’s shocking to see you refer her as a nurse wen she was clearly a doctor… P .S : I love your reviews and this one was great too 🙂
LikeLike
Isai
August 12, 2019
“how CLD U call her a nurse wen she is clearly a doctor”
I just rewatched the scene and the lady comes only for 2 scenes. She is not seen wearing a coat or prescribing a medicine etc. (ie things which usually only a doctor would do). Except for 1 closeup shot in which her stethoscope can be partly seen (I had to pause the scene and zoom in to see since she is standing sideways to the camera in that scene) there is no clear sign that she is a doctor. Usually, the other doctor would be in their room and it is the nurse who is called to this room by pressing a bell for giving an injection, dressing a female patient etc. So, I am not surprised that BR mistook her as a nurse. Of course one can surmise that she is a doctor by looking at the boards outside the clinic, Ayushman’s dialogue, family-clinic milieu etc., but it is not THAT obvious.
“It is like men who wear coats ( thought they can b a ward boy / lab assistant ) are called doctors”
I have been frequenting a very big hospital with a cancer patient for the past one year. I have never ever seen this happen.
“women though they clearly wear a coat and stethoscope are called nurses”
I thought even nurses are allowed to use stethoscopes.
“wat kind of judgement is thr…being a medico in a govt hospital we girls always face this”.
What is so terribly wrong in being mistaken for a nurse? I can understand your frustration if the patients don’t seem to value your advise even after knowing that you are a doctor (ie only because you are a girl) but getting pissed off for being mistaken as a nurse is more a sign of snobbery and status anxiety IMHO.
I have seen the female doctors wear the stethoscope in the lobby, canteen etc. much more often the male doctors. I always wondered if it was because ladies usually like to wear jewellery and hence are used to the discomfort. But, now I realise why.
LikeLike
Abinaya
August 14, 2019
First of all I don’t look down on nurses…my mom is a nurse and I respect nurses right from my childhood…it is not a status anxiety….it is the need to get our identity….we obviously work so hard to get this ‘Dr ‘ in front of our names….and maybe the hospital u visit is a private healthcare facility…where the majority of crowd is educated and ppl know…who is a doc and not…and they don’t judge just based on the gender…
And secondly….it’s common for doctor couple’s to have different cabins in d same clinic…and that’s wat was shown in the movie …and d female doc was called just becoz the patient requested ..there was no signs to tell she was a nurse…
LikeLike
Isai
August 15, 2019
@Abinaya: Just as BR’s article reminded you of some unpleasant real life experiences, your comment reminded me of some experiences and my comment was due to that. Apologies if it offended you. As a patient, I see a nurse, doctor or a superspecialist as primarily a health care provider. I have never seen an urologist get pissed off for being mistaken as a gastro-entrologist. So, when a doctor gets pissed off for being mistaken as a nurse and says things like “it is the need to get our identity….we obviously work so hard to get this ‘Dr ‘ in front of our names” and insists that it is not due to status anxiety or snobbery, well I don’t know how else to perceive it.
LikeLike