DEFERENTIAL EQUATIONS
Ranvir Shorey submits manfully to Mallika Sherawat’s whims, but their oil-water romance is more appealing on paper than on screen.
AUG 3, 2008 – FOR A WHILE, IT APPEARED THAT the reason Ugly Aur Pagli wasn’t working for me was the way the film has been promoted. The posters have Mallika Sherawat, with devil’s horns sprouting from the sides of her head, clutching at a fishing line and reeling in a hapless Ranvir Shorey. (They play Kuhu and Kabir, a hopelessly mismatched couple.) His cheeks are sucked in, around the bait, and his eyes are hilariously crossed – and the instant impression you get is that of a kooky comedy, especially with that name and with that tag line. (“99 slaps. 1 kiss.”) And as scene after scene unfolded without anything remotely funny in them, I thought that was the problem – that the writing was bad, the staging was flat, the timing was off, and the characters weren’t drawn with the depth they deserved. In short, I concluded, this was no Pyaar Ke Side Effects, that rather delightful rom-com which established Mallika as a surprisingly spry comic presence.
But gradually, I realised this wasn’t exactly trying to be another Pyaar Ke Side Effects – despite being dressed up and promoted similarly, I guess, to draw the same crowds that flocked to that movie. The tone of Ugly Aur Pagli – which announces itself as being “adapted from the original My Sassy Girl” (a first, perhaps?) – is not meant to be frantic and funny, but rather along the lines of the “sad comedies” that Hollywood used to make in the 1970s, films like The Heartbreak Kid and Harold and Maude. That’s the feel Sachin Kamlakar Khot, the director, is going for (or, maybe, that’s the feel the director of the original went for, which Khot is trying to replicate here) – the kind where the laughs arise from dark nooks of a damaged existence, and where pain and confusion are as much part of the programme as happiness and love. And that’s why Ugly Aur Pagli doesn’t end up working – because Khot can’t pull this mix off.
It’s a real shame – because, moment for moment, there’s so much that’s interesting that, after a point, you can’t look past the missed opportunities, at how things would have been if everything had fallen into place. We could have had ourselves the first Bollywood romance where the hero is the heroine, where the heroine is the hero. From the time the beyond-flaky Kuhu walks into Kabir’s life – he’s an underachieving engineering student who’s been sitting in the same class for years – she’s the one in charge. It’s not just that even simple actions assume the shape of unspoken commands. (“Try this. Last sip,” she barks, thrusting out her glass of orange juice to his face.) She’s a screenwriter whose scenarios are dramatised – as when he’s tied up and tortured by villains, and she rides in on a bike to save him, twin guns blazing – in ways that leave us in no doubt about who’s wearing the pants in this relationship.
In a sweet montage set at a photographer’s studio during the opening credits, Kabir informs us that the people posing for the picture are his parents, and that the bawling child in the pink frock is him. They always wanted a girl, but they got him instead – and as if to compensate for being born with the wrong body parts, Kabir turns out to be the “girl” in this film. Kuhu toys with him relentlessly – at times, he appears little more than a human plaything, existing solely for her amusement – and, in the mould of a long-suffering doormat housewife of our seventies’ family melodramas, he does her every eccentric bidding. And that’s why the scene where he finally asserts himself should have packed a wallop. Tired of her constantly slapping him, he catches her hands and wrestles her down and almost kisses her. But that moment, the one time that he’s on top, this film’s equivalent of the one-tight-slap scenario, doesn’t linger – and Kabir goes right back to where he was earlier, a lovesick puppy straining against the leash in Kuhu’s hand.
It’s not difficult to see why Ugly Aur Pagli is so disappointing – one easy target to point at is the large number of songs (from “Aanuu Malik”) whose rowdy exuberance is completely at odds with the delicate textures of the story – and if the film scrapes through to a barely watchable level, it’s only because of the leads. Shorey is a hoot as the victim of Kuhu’s enormous eccentricities, and there’s a scene at the beginning – where he farts loudly in an elevator and appears unbearably pleased with his accomplishment – that you can’t imagine anyone else playing. That look that says, “I may be flunking my exams and failing with the women, but, man, top this!” – that’s all Shorey. And the girl who only looks like a desi dumb blonde but is, in fact, quite a canny survivor – that’s all Sherawat (though she still can’t pull off heavy-duty drama). In one of her inexplicable fits, Kuhu pushes Kabir into a pool, and when she realises he can’t swim, she jumps in to do the hero’s job, namely rescue him – but not before slipping off her heels. See, there’s a girl who knows her priorities.
Copyright ©2008 The New Sunday Express. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without
Alok
August 2, 2008
Do watch the Korean original. It is a delightful film.
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prasun
August 2, 2008
I haven’t seen the movie but it sounds like they tried hard but didn’t quite pull off the My Sassy Girl story.
“is not meant to be frantic and funny, but rather along the lines of the “sad comedies””
A lot of Korean movies are like that. They start of funny but end up with the heroine dying or something and leave you with heart-wrenching sadness.
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Amrita
August 3, 2008
So, nothing for me at the movies this weekend, then. Sigh.
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Sanjukta
August 3, 2008
Sir,
Not sure if you remember or not but sometime back I was very upset with your review of Taare Zameen Par and did a review of your review etc. Well it so happened that now my readers did the exact same thing to me, I find myself in the place where I had put you in my review rip off posts.. My crime, I gave positive review to Ugly Aur Pagli and funnily enough people are asking back the money they spent on it because it was just for my review that they went to see the film. My defence, I honestly liked the film and I only wrote about why I liked it.
Anyway I came here to apologize to you for the review rip off…I now realize what a tough job it is to write film reviews, more particularly when people follow you. But hey I am still upset over your TZP review and I would always be.
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brangan
August 3, 2008
Alok: I’ve heard. I should.
prasun: I didn’t know that. I’ve not seen very many Korean “comedies”, and the films from there I’ve seen are more arty – like Spring Summer… which blew my mind. Watching it was like meditation. It was such a Zen experience.
But now that Bollywood has trained its eyes there, maybe I should begin catching up on the more commerical fare, what? 🙂
Amrita: Please don’t tell me you’re one of those terrifying people who makes up their minds about a film after reading what I say. Repeat after me: “A review is only an opinion…” 🙂
Sanjukta: Oh please – no apologies needed. “My defence, I honestly liked the film and I only wrote about why I liked it.” Then bravo! I defend the right of anyone to like any movie, regardless of popular taste (or even “good” taste). I speak this as someone who found lots to like about Jhoom Barabar Jhoom 🙂
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Amrita
August 3, 2008
No, I’m not 😀 But there are movies that I’m not sure I want to watch and then I let other people make up my mind for me coz it’s more entertaining than flipping a coin. Oh well, maybe someone will upload it on Youtube or something. Oh, and if you liked Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, don’t miss Mamma Mia. They’re not really comparable but there’s something about MM that begs the comparison imo.
Also, LOL @ Sanjukta. But that was a very nice to do, to come here and say that.
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kaos
August 3, 2008
I’m curious – who’s ugly and who’s pagli? 🙂
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brangan
August 3, 2008
kaos: Mallika, of course, isn’t ugly. Now do the math 🙂 Trifle mean-spirited title, no?
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Ankur
August 3, 2008
I am surprised you haven’t seen My Sassy Girl; is my favourite rom-com – and on the top of my list to recommend to people who haven’t seen it before (followed by Socha Na Tha).
All the scenes that intrigued you have been picked up cut-to-cut from the original – the director deserves no accolades for the mere exercise of translation.
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Arif Attar
August 3, 2008
Digressing a bit. After reading Sanjukta’s post just went back to read your review of ‘Taare Zameen Par’ (By the way, thanks Aditya for the info on the nasal tones on Hindi plurals :-)).
Boy! You did get some hammering from the readers there. I personally thought you were not too mean to the film. In fact I thought you generally praised it. The thing is, when it’s an Aamir film, you can safely colour the the first three stars of your five stars rating system even before watching the film. And honest reviewers will tend to focus on why the film didn’t deserve the fifth half-star rather than why the film deserves the four and a half.
And yeah I did notice the Pink Floyd touch in the soundtrack when I first heard it.
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kaos
August 4, 2008
@BR – yes, a trifle :). And confusing. Then again, we might’ve already spent more time talking about this than the people who made it.
On the subject of mean-spirited digs, if Tushar Kapoor was in this movie, this question would never have come up :).
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Sanjukta
August 4, 2008
Now, I thought I could only do this for Aamir but something strange in me is compelling me to defend this PNC production, I guess am too fond of Mallika and Ranvir. So what I was saying is, and am only saying not fighting or flaming, why is it such a big issue that a certain film is lifted/copied from a certain foreign film.
We copy all the time. Copying is all our entertainment industry ever learnt to do so why should our film makers be any different. We copied every damn thing, TV shows – Zabaan sambhalke, Ji Mantri ji, Jassi jaisi koi nahi, reality shows – KBC, Paanchvi paas, N number of talk shows inspired by the likes of Larry King live, this whole concept of ‘Breaking news’, even our Blog ideas are copied, they hav a Blog critic we have a Desi critic, they have a Insta pundit we have a Desi pundit. Our great musicians from SD Burman to RD Burman to the most verbally abused Anu Malik and not so abused Pritam everybody is a damn copy cat, so what is so uniquely and extra criminal about lifting films???
Why entertainment industry our socio political structure is also copied, the Indian Legal system, the criminal jurisprudence, the police system, bloody hell the Constitution is a copy of American, Irish, French and other Constitutions.
Few in the country would know about or be interested in the Korean film and rightly so. Then what is wrong in making a desi adaptation of it and showing it to the local junta. After all how many of the majority here are elite cine goer of international standards?
We should really stop making a fuss over films being copied so long as the films succeed in entertaining us, cause that is the only objective. (this I am talking in general not about UAP per se, though UAP did entertain me but I am not sure about others)
For all I know, PNC only ended up generating more money for the makers of My Sassy Girl, that is if every pick up the original DVDs
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brangan
August 4, 2008
Ankur: “I am surprised you haven’t seen My Sassy Girl” Dude — despite whatever rumours may be floating around, I’m really not a freak. I mean, there *are* films out there that I haven’t seen, believe me 🙂
Arif Attar: Really! You’d think I’d torn the film apart end to end, considering how angry that review made some people.
Sanjukta: Regarding “Few in the country would know about or be interested in the Korean film and rightly so…” Why is so “right” that we wouldn’t be interested in a film from Korea?
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prasun
August 4, 2008
“But now that Bollywood has trained its eyes there”
Wasn’t Zinda the first Korean adaptation?
If you are interested I’d recommend the following list
Sad Movie [“Saedeu mubi”],
Bystanders [“Yuwol-ui ilgi”],
King and the Clown [“Wang-ui namja”],
Two Guys [“Tu gaijeu”],
…ing [“…ing”],
Old Boy [“Oldeuboi”],
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance [“Boksuneun na-ui geot”], Sympathy for Mrs Vengeance (these three form a trilogy)
My Sassy Girl [“Yeopgi-jeogin geunyeo”],
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Ravi K
August 4, 2008
“We should really stop making a fuss over films being copied so long as the films succeed in entertaining us, cause that is the only objective. (this I am talking in general not about UAP per se, though UAP did entertain me but I am not sure about others)”
1. The vast majority of these copied films do not take permission or give payment or credit to the creators of the original works.
2. It shows a creative bankruptcy (personal and for the industry as a whole) to be consistently adapting other people’s films. I’m sure there are countless homegrown ideas, short stories, novels, etc. that can be made into films instead of copying foreign films (or previous Indian classics).
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Ramya
August 4, 2008
Oh, I’ll join in the chorus recommending you to watch My Sassy Girl. It is really a delightful film…..since Alok in the first comment used that word, I cant think of a better word to describe it.
Ugly or Pugli seems to be getting universally bad reviews, which I am sad about, since I’m very fond of both Ranvir Shorey and Mallika.
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Srinivas
August 4, 2008
Check out the published version in SE; the rating seems to have gone missing!:)
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Sanjukta
August 4, 2008
@brangan
Because how often do you see them being interested in our cinema?
Why is it that we always look upto anything that is foreign but they never look back at us.
Just see the statistics how many Indian masterpieces are released world over and how many international mediocres are released everyweek in India. Every week we have so many Hollywood releases half of them again are copied (from Korean, Japanese, French, Spanish etc) but we don’t crib about that, do we?
Pardon my ignorance but I really think we don’t value our own work. May be our films are not as sophisticated or sauve as theirs but they are meant for our Junta with who it works. For an ordinary Indian a Partner is more entertaining than a Hitch. That is why an ordinary Indian cine goer is not intereseted in what films are being made in a far away countries
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Ravi K
August 4, 2008
“Pardon my ignorance but I really think we don’t value our own work. May be our films are not as sophisticated or sauve as theirs but they are meant for our Junta with who it works. For an ordinary Indian a Partner is more entertaining than a Hitch. That is why an ordinary Indian cine goer is not intereseted in what films are being made in a far away countries”
I agree with the statement “we don’t value our own work,” but I would apply that to the filmmakers. Implicit in the constant remaking of foreign films is the idea that those foreign stories are better than our stories at entertaining the audience.
Can you imagine if Americans started watching Bollywood films in large numbers? They might be enchanted by Devdas or K3G at first, but they would be in for a rude awakening when they start to watch films by Mahesh Bhatt or Sanjay Gupta or David Dhawan.
When Hollywood filmmakers remake films they are transparent about their sources. You think the writer of Bruce Almighty is getting a credit on God Tussi Great Ho?
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prasun
August 5, 2008
I just saw the movie and let me put it this way. Just like a translation isn’t quite the same as the original, this movie just isn’t in the same league as the original.
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brangan
August 5, 2008
Ramya: Has *everyone* seen this film but me? 🙂
Srinivas: Oh, I didn’t notice that..
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abin
August 5, 2008
this movie sucks!! Copyin the korean movie as it is?? just little changes so that it fits indian scenario..
disgraceful..
mallika serawat in place of Jun Ji-hyun? not even close.
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Anwar Puttarjee
August 5, 2008
Mr Brangan,
Here’s just another fan of worldwide cinema to strongly recommend the Korean original My Sassy Girl! It’s truly a wonderful film.
I was initially looking forward to Ugly Aur Pagli (yes, despite the horribly childish and unimaginative title) because of Mallika and Ranvir. I liked Mallika in Pyaar Ke Side Effects, and Ranvir in almost anything I had seen him in before. But the moment I saw that scene in the first trailer in which Mallika passes out in the bar and bangs her head on the table, I suspected this to be a copy of one of my favorite Korean films, and the moment I read the reviews, I was convinced and decided not to watch the film. This film deserves to be a flop.
Just a pity that you saw this film before the original, I have to say.
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Pradyumna.M
August 5, 2008
Could you give me link to Jaan-E-mann review please ?
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brangan
August 7, 2008
abin / Anwar Puttarjee: et tu? And I repeat, Has *everyone* seen this film but me? 🙂
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prasun
August 7, 2008
yes 🙂
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krishna
August 8, 2008
those fuckers have just copied even a single dialogue too from My sassy girl….
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the mad momma
August 8, 2008
well I am one of those terrifying people who watch a movie based on your review. am afraid you will have to live with that!
kidding – like someone else says – if i am not sure, i allow your review to swing it for me.
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CIA agent 47
August 31, 2008
hollywood films have always managed to topple the box office in most countries. Moreover they take permission and rights from the movie producers of the films they copied. Stop watching indian junk and see some class movies this year such as:
IRON MAN,THE DARK KNIGHT,WANTED,GET SMART,KUNG FU PANDA. bollywood sucks balls.
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