Grouchy reflections on the ALS ice bucket challenge and the changing, um, face of Facebook.
I must confess that I have begun to dread logging into Facebook. I am afraid there’s going to be another tagging epidemic, egging me to do something crazy in order to do some good: Go to work dressed like Barbie and promote your local Kho Kho team. Eat nothing but red chillies for a week in order to encourage donations to save the California condor. Order a pizza and greet the delivery guy naked in a bid to popularise Carnatic music. (And make sure you post videos – except maybe of the last-mentioned.) Don’t smirk. If getting doused by a bucket of ice water can promote awareness of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), then what’s stopping an enterprising fund raiser from suggesting that you drink coffee while hopping, without spilling a drop, and then make out a cheque to repair the hole in the ozone layer?
I’m all for jazzing up charity, and yay to the ALS folks for transforming the act of altruism into something that makes you look less like Mother Teresa and more like Mel Brooks. But it’s the pressure, dammit – it’s killing. Now, if I don’t take up the challenge and douse myself with ice water, but nevertheless write out a cheque for a lakh, I still end up looking like the kind of grouch Dickens would write a Christmas-time story on, while all those hi-fiving dudes who posed happily for videos while emptying buckets over themselves (and contributed, say, ten bucks) come off looking like people who’ll go on to save the rainforest, while simultaneously eradicating poverty and giving hope to gay teens. Because, apparently, nothing says you care about society better than offering your shivering body as host to a passing cold virus.
Now you could say that, instead of all this agonising, just go ahead and pour that damn bucket on yourself and be done with it. But is it really that easy? I live in a flat, on the second floor, and I’m already quaking at the prospect of the house help walking in and finding that she has, in addition to her chores, an icy puddle to mop up. (You don’t know mortal fear until you imagine a negotiation with your maid in the middle of her packed morning.) Second, water makes you wet, and wet clothes stick to the body, and some bodies are clearly not meant to be presented to the world with their contours clearly outlined. Third, what if I accept the challenge and some friends walk in and say “Let’s have a drink” and I discover all the ice is gone? Yes, I know what you’re thinking, that no one’s going to walk in during the day and demand a drink. But then you don’t know my friends.
Once upon a time, Facebook used to be fun. It was entertainment, the online answer to a Manmohan Desai movie. The lost-and-found formula was very much in effect. We found the Amars, the Akbars, the Anthonys we’d lost after school and college. We messaged them and slipped into happy flashbacks about the good old days. We went into their photo albums and rummaged through their lives, silently judging them while emptying packets of Kurkure – job (“looks kinda boring”), spouse (“heard of a gym”?), children (“are they really theirs”?), vacations (“stop taking selfies and let me see the place”), their friends we didn’t know but were still curious about even though it was none of our bloody business (“thank heavens I have better-looking friends”)… But now, the spirit of Mrinal Sen seems to have invaded Facebook, with a whiff of politics and the insistence that we are but atoms of the social molecule, and we cannot afford to be spinning in our own cosy orbits.
The other tagging epidemic that’s plaguing Facebook recently induced an equal amount of hand-wringing. It is about ten books that left an impression on you. Now, Facebook being a public forum and all, I couldn’t possibly include Penthouse Letters (the ultimate self-help manual for teenage boys) and What’s Your Poo Telling You (the older you get, the more obsessed you become with bodily functions) – and I had to think of books that were high on literary value, or ennobling in some way. In other words, even if I did want to list a book that sounded like it belonged in the bathroom, it would have had to be It’s Time For a Bowel Movement: Eliminating Waste That Lies Within the Soul. (That really is the name of a book.) So I started a list that included Heidegger and Wittgenstein. The rule on Facebook is to always appear loftier than you are, even if your mind is ravaged by the image of Scarlett Johansson in lacy lingerie, taking the ice bucket challenge.
An edited version of this piece can be found here. Copyright ©2014 The Hindu. This article may not be reproduced in its entirety without permission. A link to this URL, instead, would be appreciated.
march hare
September 6, 2014
Errr…“Now, if I don’t take up the challenge and douse myself with ice water, but nevertheless write out a cheque for a lakh, I still end up looking like the kind of grouch Dickens would write a Christmas-time story on”…
Totally not true. Case in point, Sir Patrick Stewart.
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Anoop
September 6, 2014
The book thingy is plain irritating. Next would be movies am sure. Talking of penthouse I wondered aloud on Facebook why no one was remembering Harold Robbins and Irving Wallace. Got a few appreciatory nods for that.
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venkatesh
September 6, 2014
“even if your mind is ravaged by the image of Scarlett Johansson in lacy lingerie, taking the ice bucket challenge.”
– oh you ….
On a serious note , am i the only one who has successfully resisted Facebook ? From what i hear and see its WhatsApp and others of their ilk that are the in-thing , and technology has come full-circle.
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oneWithTheH
September 6, 2014
ohh boy! just after i read this, i logged into FB and found a “best husband/wife ever” post. made me wonder where all the the ordinary spouses in the world have gone.
i was almost on the verge of blocking that poster but then had to curtail because sometimes that “friend” posts links to likable songs. sigh! you have to pick your battles!
“The rule on Facebook is to always appear loftier than you are”
truer words have seldom been spoken.
the social media celebrity fad is reached alarming proportions. the guy below is a fine example. is he a popular reviewer? nevertheless his whole demeanor smacks of exhibitionism.
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Anu Warrier
September 6, 2014
I feel for you. 🙂 (Forgive me if I laughed, though.)
Jokes apart, I hated it. It is a shame that so many gallons of water are being wasted in the pursuit of this challenge. It is a bigger shame when people do it in countries like ours, where water resources are scarce in so many places.
Someone on a forum I frequent said the campaign was ‘brilliant’, because if you are tagged and you refuse, you are ‘seen as either chicken or cheap.’ My response was the thought you expressed in your post – if I do not take the challenge, but I do donate, am I cheap?
Secondly, and more to the point, just because the person who tagged me is an ALS supporter, does that mean that I have to also support ALS? I can’t support any other charity/cause that appeals to me?
I have a set budget that I set aside for my pet causes. With all the goodwill in the world, I cannot stretch my financial resources to support every good cause. Forgive me if I become Scrooge in this situation, and say ‘Bah! Humbug!’
p.s. If there is anything that makes me even happier that I’m not on FB, this is it!
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ramitbajaj01
September 6, 2014
That was wide, wild, racy and damn hilarious! Hope you give us more of such treats!
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KayKay
September 7, 2014
I feel ya, bro!
And don’t even get me started on the 25 invitations a day to play Candy Crush
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ram murali
September 7, 2014
That was witty and thought-provoking in equal parts…totally agree with the “lofty” part…but I feel that a lot of this purported self-righteousness comes with the territory and that whatever little this kinda supposedly “cool” (pun intended!) stuff like “ice bucket” challenge does to spread awareness really cant hurt…I mean, would we even be talking about stuff like ALS if not for something like this…among 100 people, I am sure at least 10 people develop genuine passion for causes like this through social media…
that’s my glass half-full…or, rather bucket half-full part speaking…(enough of the puns already, i know! Suhasini baashai-la, “Neenge get out solrathuku munaale naane get out aaydren!”)
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sum0962
September 7, 2014
Omg!!! This beats everything else you’ve written, hollow!!!! Laughed my head off!! I wish someone tags me, asking me to read such write-ups, n promote awareness of……. Sumathi.
Sent from my iPad
>
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Rahini David
September 8, 2014
Well, I honestly was of the opinion that masochism was suddenly in vogue. So there is a method in this madness. Who would’ve thunk?
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brangan
September 8, 2014
venkatesh: Oh, Facebook’s not all bad. Even if you don’t want to get all personal, you can use it for your work. It’s really helpful in disseminating your writing, for one thing.
ram murali: Oh I’m not knocking social media. This is just a light piece — not to be taken too seriously, even if some of it is kinda true.
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ram murali
September 8, 2014
yeah yeah, i get it…as an FYI, I am NOT on facebook! just said that there are people who have the best of intentions when they do stuff like this that that to me makes the whole thing worth it, despite the majority just craving the publicity/”lofty” part…
“This is just a light piece “ –> yep, which is why I started off my comment appreciating the wit in the article…
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rnjbond
September 8, 2014
Of course, don’t gloss over the fact that the challenge has raised not only awareness, but $110MM (vs. $2MM in the same time period last year).
And to talk about people “wasting water” – it’s a literal drop in the bucket compared to other uses: golf courses, lawns, farms to raise beef, etc. I’m pretty sure the downside of “wasting” fifteen seconds of shower time is outweighed by all the benefits the campaign has brought about.
You don’t have to do the challenge. Donate, ignore it, do whatever you want (although, I must say, your concerns are a little silly – just do it in your bathroom or shower or do it outside in the park or whatever). But no need for this level of criticism on how the challenge has ruined facebook for you.
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Dinesh
September 9, 2014
Your observation about the facebook-discourse’s preference for “It’s Time For a Bowel Movement: Eliminating Waste That Lies Within the Soul” to “What’s Your Poo Telling You” – proves that one can in fact polish a turd (figuratively at least!)…
And just to clear the air (pun alert)…here is decisive proof (outside of facebook) that a turd can be polished (for real):
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Srinivas R
September 9, 2014
rnjbond – I think you completely missed the point here
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Sathya saran
September 10, 2014
Brilliant. I kept wondering what this ice bucket Thingie was. Now I know. Thank you for an exhilarating piece of great writing.
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Ashutosh
September 10, 2014
Funny; the two common criticisms in the comments section of this blog seem to be: ‘you are not telling me whether I should watch the movie or not, you are just wobbling about the place’ (by someone who didn’t want to read a review seriously and make his mind up) and ‘it’s totally unfair/insensitive, what you just said’ (by someone who read something–mostly side points–too seriously).
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Yossarian
September 10, 2014
BR – Off topic, any plans to write about Kaaviyathalaivan’s music?
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brangan
September 10, 2014
Yossarian: I don’t think so. Enjoyed the score quite a bit, but didn’t find anything extraordinary about it. The recent score that I loved is “Madras.” I really, really like what Santhosh Narayanan is doing. I like Ghibran too, but he has a tendency to overlay his songs with instruments. There’s too much music — it’s thick, syrupy sometimes. But Santhosh’s music and arrangements are so clean, so vibrant. Another guy doing really excellent work is Sean Roldan.
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Di
September 11, 2014
You STILL on FB?!?!? What would you expect. Close your a/c pronto. 🙂
Well, if people in developed countries don’t donate, then the people in poor countries will blame us for not caring and throw bombs at us, no?
And your excuses for not throwing ice bucket at yourself are quite lame (just kidding). My guruji used to say that each person is to give his/her efficiency. A doctor can donate a day in 15 days to work in free clinic; a civil engineer can help build a well in village; you get the idea? It is like the voice you did for meghdootam. You give what your are best at…..your services…it doesn’t always need to be $$
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Di
September 11, 2014
You have ex-editors and actors reading your column…BR…tu popular ho rahela hai
🙂
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bart
September 11, 2014
Side note: Since you’ve mentioned Santhosh Narayanan, I loved his “Enakkul Oruvan” – In loop. “Prabalamagave” is a nostalgia trip through 80s..
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Mur
September 12, 2014
the greatbong has written a truly great article on ice bucket challenge..worthy of a film ‘critic’. I fell down laughing….
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MANK
September 13, 2014
Mur. Yes , The greatbong article was fantastic.compiling all those jismani garmi scenes from hindi films – that’s a true masterpiece. God that was a truly ROFL
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