A big thank-you to everyone who responded to the earlier thread, which is a reminder that people can help you only if they know you need help — meaning, you have to ask for help. And as with most situations in life, there’s a philosophical film song that expresses this emotion. I am referring to Poongodi thaan poothathamma, from Idhayam (1991), composed by Ilaiyaraaja and written by Vaali.
The opening lines are breathtaking. A flower has blossomed. A bee has witnessed this. But the bee, for some reason, takes its time — and before it can get there, the breeze blows the flower away. From this scene-setting “abstract”-ness, derived from Nature, the song gets into very specific human, very domestic situations situations, and the line that kills me is this one:
உன் வீட்டு கண்ணாடி
ஆனாலும் கூட
முன் வந்து நின்றால்தான்
முகம் காட்டும் இங்கே
As a line of poetry, I don’t find it very elegant — there’s a “fitted-in” quality to the meter/rhyme. (That “இங்கே” at the end really gnaws at me.) But as a thought, how brilliant this is! Even the mirror won’t show you your reflection unless you stand in front of it. Extending the metaphor a little more: Even the mirror won’t show you your reflection unless you stand in front of it, i.e. “confront” it, i.e. ask for its help to reflect you.
This, I have found, is the key to difficult situations. You have to confront them. (Going back to the earlier Bitty Ruminations, YOU have to ASK for help.) Of course, this is not easy for some people, because — like everything else in life — it depends on your internal wiring. Talking about feelings comes easy to some people. For others, bottling up emotions is how they do it. You cannot force anyone into a behaviour that does not come easy to them, nor can they “break” that behaviour until a certain moment comes and convinces them (or forces them) to do so. For some, that moment may never arrive. Either way, this song (and its lyric-thoughts) capture this conundrum beautifully.
As an aside, a lot of people associate the philosophical film song (thathuva paadal) as something that belongs to the MSV-era, but it has thrived through the 80s, 90s — why, you find examples of it even today! Here is one of my favourites, from Naan (2012), composed by Vijay Antony and written by Annamalai. The general idea is that nothing in life comes without an amount of pain, and making peace with this pain allows you to get ahead. I have often used it as a pick-me-up.
Rahini David
April 13, 2023
I think it is wonderful to know Bitty Ruminations are back.
😊
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hari prasad
April 13, 2023
Nowadays , people just hesitate to ask help because they consider it as some sort of prestige issue and wonder what would they think.
One day , during my training at a company , my tummy upsetted me and I had to take a dump , but I can’t leave my bag alone at the canteen table , so I gave it to my fellow trainee and asked her to safeguard it till I return from the restroom.
I didn’t think anything like ” what would she think of?” , ” Is she gonna embarass me by telling poop jokes to the other trainees?” at that moment.
Idk why people get insecure while asking for help , I’m not talking about things like lending a pen / pencil ( sadly , there are people who hesitate to ask even that) , but the help that Baddy asked all of us to guide his friend in a dire situation.
BTW , when I was down and didn’t know whether I would pass my final semester exams and thought my life is over , an unexpected song composed by Vijay Antony (same pinch , Baddy😊) uplifted my soul and the energy that I got from it resulted in me passing my exams and secure my Undergraduate degree in flying colors.
I didn’t become the college topper still..
Here it is:
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Madan
April 13, 2023
Seconded @ Rahini.
Never paid that much attention to this song. The title track is about the only one that somewhat passes muster for me in the entire album. But I did think the situation was well conceived and I will pay attention to the lyrics now.
Vaali has this knack of inserting thatvam in not always the most elegant way. From Unna Ninachen: “Kaatru Adikkum Neram Maavu Vikka Ponnen”. And again, in Nalam Vaazha: “Manidhargal Sila Neram Niram Maaralam/Ezhdiya Anbu Illakiyam Thavaragalam”. He was going for the gentle philosophy of his Hindi predecessors/peers or even, gulp, Kannadasan but not quite getting there in execution. Kaifi Azmi’s lyrics for the Arth songs were so much better. There is an even bigger chasm when you compare Ellorum Sollum v/s Koi Yeh Kaise.
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vijay
April 13, 2023
I think what some people need sometimes is a reality check more than any’ help’..if they look around and get to know things move for a lot of folks, especially in a country like India, gratitude automatically thrives. That way ‘unakkum keezhe uLLavar kOdi….’-> kannadaasan’s lines summarizes a very practical philosphy in a line.
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vijay
April 13, 2023
Infact, for Vaali himself the ‘unakkum keezhe uLaavar kodi’ acted a major pick-me-up line/song when he was going through depressing times..and I suspect for many others as well
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Heisenberg
April 13, 2023
Poongodi than poothathamma – almost forgot this song which was in my playlist for many years. Another noted thing about this song is how great SPB had poured in emotions into this song.
When he sings “காட்டாத காதலெல்லாம்”, there’s so much voice change just between these two words. While he goes full throttle on “காட்டாத”, within a second melts into “காதலெல்லாம்”.
How wonderful it was to have one versatile singer who could easily sing all genre and emotions.
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hari prasad
April 13, 2023
And that following ” oh oh oh” from him…
Manushan konnutaan , we would never get the likes of him again.
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Kay
April 13, 2023
“ people just hesitate to ask help because they consider it as some sort of prestige issue and wonder what would they think.”
There are some reasons that I can think of for this:
1. Showing one’s vulnerability, especially in a professional setting, is taken advantage of. Asking for help can be interpreted as someone bring incompetent for a certain role or trying to make excuse for something.
2. People have become judgemental and unkind these days and not everyone is mentally strong to power through all that negativity.
3. It’s not manly to ask for help. Women always need to be helped and that’s why they are not fit for leadership roles…. There’s no way one can win.
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vsrini
April 13, 2023
“I think what some people need sometimes is a reality check more than any’ help’”
I appreciate the sentiment but sometime people genuinely need help regardless of how good (we may think) they have it. Thinking about how much ‘worse’ others have it is all well & good, but it can also diminish one’s own struggles & make us feel like we’re wrong for feeling the way we’re feeling. Telling a severely depressed person “at least you’re not starving” isn’t going to do much to help him/her.
As someone who’s been thru his fair share of mental health struggles, I’d say definitely reach out for help but also reach out to the right people for help. Reaching out only to get Samuthirakani-style ‘free advice’ in return can oftentimes aggravate things in not-so-pleasant ways.
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vijay
April 13, 2023
vsrini, thats why i clearly said ‘some people’ and ‘sometimes’, not all the time.
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Anuja Chandramouli
April 13, 2023
YOU have to ASK for help.
I guess, that is easier said than done, for me. For whatever reason, I find it really hard to ask for help. Even if it is something simple like ‘Please hold my bag, while I go to the loo.’ Perhaps I want to prove to myself that I can deal with obstacles and shitty stuff on my own. Perhaps, I can bring myself to even talk about a problem only if I have fixed it to my own satisfaction. Perhaps, in particularly crappy situations when it feels like I am drowning and it takes everything I have to just stay afloat, I am terrified that if I reach out and ask for help that is not forthcoming or might be denied me for whatever reason, it will be the final straw that breaks me for good and sends me down under.
I think, sometimes, people may have good intentions and may even genuinely want to help but there isn’t much they can do other than lend a shoulder to lean on. That’s enough. That’s more than enough. I am grateful for those people in my life. But I can’t take advantage of that and keep dumping my emotional garbage on their lawn, without taking steps to deal with the root cause of whatever is troubling me. On my own. So maybe it is not the worst thing in the world to keep busy and labour on, if you cannot fix your troubles or ask for help. Because, the good thing about bad times is they don’t last, and the bad thing about good times is they don’t last either.
P.S: On the strength of that last statement, I totally get it if you wanna hurl the closest available object at my head.
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hari prasad
April 13, 2023
Been there , done that.
Got obliterated a lot for going Samuthirakani na over people when they were upset.
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RK
April 13, 2023
“As an aside, a lot of people associate the philosophical film song (thathuva paadal) as something that belongs to the MSV-era, but it has thrived through the 80s, 90s — why, you find examples of it even today!”
One prime example is Na Muthukumar who seems to have fashioned some great life insights, but almost in a whisper. Most of us would have observed this line from Kadhal,
Minsara kambigal meethu mainaakal koodukattum
Nam kaadhal thadaigalai thaandum.
But the very next line is
Valayaamal nadhigal illai
Valikaamal vaazhkai illai.
Thanks to BR for introducing me to Pattukaran podcast, where I got to know some gems of Na Muthukumar lyrics. For the interested, this is the episode:
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Eswar
April 13, 2023
Just before Un veetu kannaadi, there is also:
Thaaikooda azhukindra
Pillaikuththaanae
Pasiyendru parivodu
Paaloota varuvaal
I have listened to this song so many times just for these lines. Both these lines are pretty direct and likely to sound banal. Yet, sometimes that directness is needed, especially when one is down and going through a rough patch.
On the subject of contemporary philosophical songs, my favourite one from recent times is Karthik Netha’s Ithuvum Kadanthu Pogum. This song also starts with cliched lines, but as it progresses, there are some beautiful verses:
அதுவே படைக்கும் அதுவே உடைக்கும்…
மனந்தான் ஒரு குழந்தையே…
அதுவாய் மலரும் அதுவாய் உதிரும்…
அதுபோல் இந்த கவலையே…
நாள்தோறும் ஏதோ மாறுதல்…
வானும் மண்ணும் வாழும் ஆறுதல்…
பேசாமல் வா வாழ்வை வாழ்ந்திருப்போம்…
மழை காற்றோடு போகும் வரை போனால் என்ன…
அது ஏதோ ஓர் பூவின் துணை ஆனால் என்ன…
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hari prasad
April 13, 2023
Speaking of Na. Muthukumar , here’s one of my favorites that he wrote for the Yuvan – Selvaraghavan combo:
Kanaa kaanum kaalangal
Karaindhodum nerangal
Kalaiyaadha kolam podumo…
Vizhi podum kadidhangal
Vazhi maarum payanangal
Thaniyaaga odam pogumo
Idhu idaiveli kuraigira tharunam
Iru idhayathil melliya salanam
Ini iravugal innoru naragam ilamaiyin athisayam
Idhu kathiyil nadandhidum paruvam
Dhinam kanavinil avaravar uruvam
Sudum neruppinai viralgalum virumbum kadavulin ragasiyam.
Ulagil miga inithidum baashai
Idhayam rendu pesidum baashai
Medhuvai ini mazhai varum oosai
Look how he beautifully conveys through his lyric that Love is an enjoyable pain.
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brangan
April 13, 2023
Eswar: Oh, that’s a brilliant song. I especially love these lines that work as both a philosophy and as a sum-up of the recently blind heroine’s condition.
வாசம் தான் பூவின் பார்வைகள்
காற்றில் ஏறி காணும் காட்சிகள்
காணாமல் வெளியாக பார்த்திடுமே
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vijay
April 13, 2023
Na.Muthukumar was peerless in the 2000s and early 2010s..left a big void when he went early..Yuvan was the beneficiary most of the times..Pesugiren pesugiren from saththam podaathey, pogaathey from Deepavali and many songs. IR’s ViLayaatta padagotti from Dhoni by Na. Muthukumar is a perennial favourite both for its poignant rendition by Shreya as well as the delicate coming-of-age pains conveyed by the ;yrics. He goes “ViLayaatta padagotti, viLayaadum paruvam poyi, nesamaana Odam pol naam aanom”(‘.. the days of us playing with paperboats are behind us, we have become boats ourselves in the river of life…’) . Most of the times the lines are simple enough in terms of usage of words but the effect is like a slap on the face..
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Jeeva Pitchaimani
April 13, 2023
மூங்கில் விட்டு போன பின்னே அந்த பாட்டோடு மூங்கில் கொண்ட உறவு என்ன ? பெற்ற மகள் புரிகிறாள் அந்த பெண்ணோடு தந்தைக்குள்ள உரிமை என்ன?
மாயம் போல் விரிகின்ற மனித வாழ்க்கையில் சொந்தங்கள் சொல்லிச்செல்லும் சேதி என்ன?
பாசத்தின் ஊடாக ஞானம் கொள்ள படைத்தவன் புரிகின்ற சூழ்ச்சி என்ன?
This is Vaa Vaa en Devadhaye song from Abhiyum Naanum. I dont have a daughter and I am not old enough to get her married too. But listening to these lines in Madhu Balakrishnan’s voice transports me into the mind of a father who has still not grown out of the ownership of his daughter. The last line keeps giving me goosebumps every time I pronounce it.
People used to say that to acquire wisdom you gotta leave your home and roam in search of God. But here staying in a relationship and growing old with your people itself might serve as a way to acquire wisdom. No prizes for guessing who might have written this.
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therag
April 13, 2023
My favourites have been from Thamarai-GVM combos, recent one being Mallipoo.
Dhoorama ponadhe dhukkama maarum
Paakama vaazhvathe podhoonnu thonum
Oor adangum neram Or aasai nerum
Kozhi koovumbodhum thoongama vegum
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hari prasad
April 13, 2023
From the Gautham – Thamarai combo , I would say Annul Mele Panithuli from Vaaranam Aayiram.
It’s such a tricky situation to write a song.
It’s not just a they lived happily ever after montage song , but it also conveys the pain that the Priya character had gone through because of Suriya’s disappearance and the fact that they didn’t speak a word for almost 7 years and Thamarai just knocked it out of the park.
Especially the 2nd Saranam :
Santhithomae kanaakalil
Sila muraiyaa pala muraiyaa
Andhi vaanil ulaavinom
Athu unakku ninaivillaiyaa
Iru karaigalai udaiththidave
Perugidumaa kadal alaiyae
Iru iru uyir thaththalikkaiyil
Vazhi sollumaa kalangaraiyae
Unathalaigal ennai adikka
Karai servathum kanaavil nigazhnthida..
The first 4 lines from the 2nd saranam beautifully conveys the emotions of Priya which say that she had been living with Suriya in her dreams all these years and asks her imaginary Suriya that we used to roam around the sky , you remember?
Thamarai should fill the void that Na.Muthukumar had left so that we won’t get more Bimbiliki Pilaapis or Halamithi Habibos.
Naane oru 2k kid , ennayave boomer maari pesa vekkura alavuku amazing songs ah varudhu ipolam.
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Anu Warrier
April 14, 2023
I am one of those people who are hesitant to ask for help. (And no, it’s not a ‘prestige’ issue.) It’s just that I have been independent for so long, have struggled/stumbled/crawled my way through/out of whatever life has seen fit to throw at me, that it’s very, very difficult to ask for help.
It’s never the ‘Please hold my bag while I go to the loo’ part that I have a problem with; that, what with travelling all round the country, especially the interiors, as part of my job(s), I soon got over.
It’s the serious stuff that I have issues with sharing/asking for help. Like Kay says, a) it’s vulnerability b) it’s the feeling of the loss of independence.
And that makes me feel less in control of my already-out-of-control life. And truth be told, there’s also the fear of dismissal – ” Just will yourself to…”; “If you really wanted to…”; “The mind is a powerful thing…” And this is from people who do care for me but cannot/will not understand why I am in the situation I am in.
If I really wanted platitudes, I would subscribe to ‘Inspiring quotes’ or something! As Rahini mentioned in her post about gratitude journalling, yeah, I feel a bit like Dorothy Parker – I don’t want to set them aside lightly; I want to throw them with great force across the room. 🙂
I think this is also due to the fact that I am usually the ‘helper’, and am seen as the person with solutions/listening ability. And so they don’t see – or don’t want to see – the vulnerability of the real person in front of them, not because they don’t care but because they don’t know how to care/help. But it’s dismissive all the same, and so I turn more inwards rather than outwards.
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Prat
April 16, 2023
“Naane oru 2k kid , ennayave boomer maari pesa vekkura alavuku amazing songs ah varudhu ipolam.”
ROFL so true. I’m in my twenties and I’m frequently going “andha kaalathula paatellaam epdi irukum theriyuma”
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Kannaa
April 16, 2023
“To ask is no sin, and to be refused is no calamity” goes a Russian proverb. But to hesitate is human … 🙂 Years before “பூங்கொடி தான் பூத்ததம்மா”, Vaali authored another hit song in “சொல்லத்தான் நினைக்கிறேன்”. I believe even the below snippet that comes later in the movie is his.
The lines …கனவு கண்ட விழிகள், பாவம் இலவு காத்த கிளிகள்… and MSV’s lamentation get our attention. The metaphor “இலவு காத்த கிளி”, which was the title of a story, reportedly became the movie “சொல்லத்தான் நினைக்கிறேன்” by KB.
Rewind… Here is the classic by MSV/SJ that still rings true, despite the years gone (the focus here is the intensity of feelings that go unarticulated)
There are variants of the sentiment, which apply in different contexts. There is the homespun wisdom of “அழுத பிள்ளை தான் பால் குடிக்கும்” and the one with religious overtones “கேளுங்கள் கொடுக்கப்படும், தட்டுங்கள் திறக்கப்படும்”
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Kannaa
April 16, 2023
The other gentleman who contemporaneously wrote lines for a living had a different take on this (speaking here of movies and love), if only because the context in the film “Vilaiyaattu Pillai” may have been different (I have not seen the movie, but can infer 🙂 ) … “Sollaamal Theriya Vendume”
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RK
April 17, 2023
@Eswar: Wow that song was wonderful! Karthik Netha writes about very conventional wisdom using very new & interesting wordplay.
I loved his lyrics in 96 especially Alai Vandhe Pirage. Does anyone have any other recommendations?
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